Save My Life
by TheEagleFeatherQuill
Summary: University AU: Nico di Angelo is a bitter, closeted loner that just travels wherever the wind is blowing, without really living. One night, the wind blows him towards the optimistic, friendly, and dorky Will Solace, who might just be exactly what he needs to save his life. Inspired by the song 'Save My Life' by P!nk.
1. Travelin' where the wind is blowin'

**Chapter 1 - Travelin' where the wind is blowin'**

 **A/N: Hello everyone! It's been a while, but I am happy to announce that I am finally returning to publishing fanfiction :) I started writing this story months ago and I've nearly finished the first draft, but I haven't uploaded any of it until now because I kept on telling myself that I don't have enough time for writing and editing. However, my school holidays have just started so I should have lots of free time. I'm hoping that the fact that I've already posted the first chapter will spur me into working on it. Fingers crossed!**

 **About this story: It's a university AU about Solangelo, with Nico as the main character, following him as he comes to terms with his sexuality and learns to trust people. It's inspired by the song 'Save My Life' by P!nk and all of the chapter titles are a line out of it. If you listen to the song it should give you a good idea for where I'm going with this story, but I haven't stuck exactly to it - for example I will not be covering topics such as drugs and suicide, so don't worry about that.**

 **I hope you like the story! Please leave me a review to let me know what you think :)**

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The winter wind kicked up again, biting into Nico's skin even though his many layers of clothes. He shivered and huddled closer to his friends, for once putting aside his hate of physical contact in the name of warmth. "Can't we just go in the library?" Nico groaned. "I'd like to regain feeling in my limbs."

"Come on, Nico." Percy grinned. "It's not that cold. Just move around. Keep your body moving!" Percy started jogging on the spot to prove his point.

"Percy, stop it." Out of the corner of his eye, Nico could see Annabeth shaking her head, half amused, half disapproving.

"What's wrong?" Percy jogged around them in circles, staring at Nico the whole time. "Is there a problem? How about some starjumps, would that help?" He demonstrated to prove his point, and Nico had to focus hard to fight back the smile that always threatened to emerge whenever Percy was being Percy.

"Are you fucking serious right now?" Nico deadpanned, but Percy was undeterred.

"You're the only one being serious around here, grumpy bum. Lighten up!" Nico was struggling to decide if he wanted to punch him in the face or kiss him when Annabeth read the anger in his face.

"Leave him alone," she said, pulling Percy away from Nico and into her embrace. Nico sighed as the scene that was so typical of their friendship for the last few years drew to a close.

The three of them had been friends since they were children, having grown up on the same street, back in the days when making friends was as easy as knocking on someone's door, and all you had to have in common was age. Though they had all changed over the years, they stuck together through everything, no matter what. The last few years had been hard on Nico. He lost his sister and mother in a car crash when he was 10, and for a while he felt as though he had died along with them. The accident had broken his father too. Instead of their shared loss bringing the two of them together, Hades faded away and slipped into the background of Nico's life, spending the majority of his time working and leaving Nico to fend for himself.

At least he'd had his friends to support him through his grief, but the pain of the loss had driven a wedge between him and them that still hadn't completely disappeared. It didn't help that, a few years later, he developed a crush on Percy. At first, Nico had spent a few months hoping that maybe there was a chance that Percy liked him back, but then he started dating Annabeth, and the truth of who he liked became painfully obvious.

The crush still hadn't faded, no matter how much Nico had tried to get over him, and Percy and Annabeth were still together. It didn't help that Nico hadn't been with anyone else. He had just barely accepted his sexuality. There was no chance of him coming out to anyone any time soon. Even Percy and Annabeth didn't know the truth about him.

"We won't be out here for much longer." Annabeth told him, breaking Nico out of his thoughts. "We're just waiting for Jason and some others to get here." Nico frowned, trying to remember which one Jason was. Since the three of them had started university a few months earlier, the other two had become total social butterflies. They had made so many new friends in all of their classes, and now their conversations were filled with names that he didn't know. Nico had met a few of them, but it was so hard to keep track that he gave up trying.

Nico hadn't made any new friends of his own. He wasn't a people person at all. He couldn't bring himself to start a conversation with a random stranger, through a combination of many things: not really knowing how; being afraid of rejection; and just plain not wanting to. Nico got by fine just as he was. He had Percy and Annabeth. He didn't need any other friends.

Nico was saved the struggle of trying to recall Jason's face by his arrival, which then brought on memories of a serious-looking blond guy who had joined them for a study group. "Hey everyone!" He greeted, flinging an arm around Percy. Jason turned to the girl that had arrived with him. "Piper, you know Percy and Annabeth, right?" He barely even waited for her to nod before continuing, turning to Nico. "And this guy is...Nicholas?" He frowned. "Sorry dude, that's not right is it?"

"Nico." He said, staring at his feet.

"Nico! Right. Cool." Jason clapped a hand on his shoulder, and Nico flinched away. Jason backed away, his hands held up in surrender. "Sorry, sorry, sorry, I just-"

"Don't worry about it." Nico told him, still unable to look him in the eye.

In the awkward silence that followed, Nico internally scolded himself for being so socially inept. He couldn't even couldn't even meet someone new without offending them and ruining the mood. "How about we go inside?" Piper said, her voice sounding strangely calming for someone that he had just met, and he followed the group into the library with only minimal mumbling about how they could have just met Jason and Piper inside and not have had to go through freezing their arses off.

They found another group of people that they knew to sit down with. Once Nico's group had settled down, Annabeth pulled out her books to study but the rest of them started chatting to each other. Nico, however. found himself lost in thought again . It happened often when he was in a big group of people. He found it too hard, stressful, and overwhelming to keep up with it all. It was easier to just not try.

He was in the middle of a nice thought when Percy dug an elbow into his side and brought his attention back to the people around him. "What?" He huffed, but he didn't back away from him. Percy was an exception when it came to his no-touchy rule, and even Nico himself couldn't figure out exactly why. It was a mix of him being an old time friend, Nico's trust in him, and – of course – Nico's crush on him. He would rather give more cause for any accidentally touching between the two of them. He hoped Percy didn't notice how different Nico acted around him compared to other people, and that if he did, he assumed it was just because of how long they had known each other.

"Are you coming?" Percy asked him, and then smirked when he realised that Nico had no idea what he was talking about. "To Jason's party." Seeing that he was about to protest, he quickly added, "It's not really a party, it's more of just a casual get together between friends. And we'd all want you to be there with us. Please?" Nico looked away from him before Percy could turn on the puppy dogs eyes that always turned his will to mush, and sought out Annabeth to bail him out.

Unfortunately, on meeting his gaze Annabeth just shrugged. "I think you should come and meet some people. It would be good for you. You've spent too much time hiding away by yourself." Feeling the eyes of everyone staring at him, Nico flushed. It was bad enough that he had to be friends with the two most outgoing people in the world. It was bad enough that they teased him for his completely opposing personality when they were hanging out just the three of them. But for them to bring it up in front of a bunch of strangers was mortifying. He could feel them all judging him, making notes in their heads that he wasn't someone that they wanted to hang out with, that anyone wanted to hang out with, and he absolutely detested the feeling. This was why Nico kept his social activities to a minimum.

He tried to tell himself that he didn't care what they thought. It worked most of the time, but not today. Today he had had enough. Today Nico felt as though he wasn't just embarrassing himself, but he was letting Percy and Annabeth down. They'd probably had enough of his antisocial crap by now. He sometimes wondered why they even bothered to spend time with him anymore. A strange feeling of self-pride rose up in him, and he decided that he couldn't let any of the students around him think any less of him.

"Fine. I'll go. Happy now?" He tried to play it casual with a roll of his eyes, but his words just brought on a new buzz of conversation about the party, telling him all the details and about how excited they all were for him to be coming. He did make an attempt to keep up and show some enthusiasm, but it was hard when they were all talking over each other and not waiting for him to reply before rolling on with their next point. And then there was the fact that a get together meant meeting people, which was something that he rarely enjoyed. But Nico had gotten himself into this position anyway, and he knew his friends too well to think that they would let him make an excuse and back out of it now. He knew that somehow or another he would be dragged into it, and that there was no use fighting it.

And so Nico just sat there letting their words wash over him, wishing that he could grow a backbone and didn't always travel where the wind was blowing. Because most of the time that wind was fucking freezing and he just wanted to take shelter from it.


	2. It was this one dark night

**Chapter 2 – It was this one dark night**

 **A/N: Hello! Thanks for the response so far. I can't wait to hear what you think of this chapter :)**

 **Just so you know, I aim upload about once a week and this story will be about 10 chapters long. But really, who knows? I've never been very good at keeping to a schedule. I am the worst procrastinator EVER!**

 **Enjoy :)**

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Nico felt drained already. He had only been there for an hour and he was ready to go home.

At first it hadn't been too bad. He had arrived at Jason's apartment on time, not knowing that everyone else would actually arrive later than they were supposed to for some reason, and Jason had been nice enough. He was pretty easy to talk to, and they got chatting about the classes they were doing at the university and swapping stories about Percy's dumb antics. But then more people had turned up and Jason left to talk to them, leaving Nico to hover awkwardly by the food table while he waited for his friends to get there.

But when they did it wasn't much better. Annabeth and Percy were in all-out couple mode, laughing, holding onto each other constantly, and kissing. They had Nico wishing that he had spent his time by the drinks table instead. And they weren't the only couple there. A lot of uni students had turned up - _small get-together of friends, my arse,_ he thought bitterly - and there were couples scattered around the room doing similar, if not worse, displays of affection. It was sickening.

Nico reached behind him for the chips without looking, having memorised the position of the bowls in the time that he had been standing there. However, he didn't account for the fact that someone else would be reaching for the chips at the exact same time. Lost in thought, he had only half been paying attention to his hand, but he was brought back to reality with a bang when his fingers brushed someone else's, which then grabbed onto his.

"You know, I thought you looked pretty lonely, but not quite _that_ lonely." Nico jerked his hand away and whirled around to face the voice. He was greeted by a shock of unruly blond hair, a blinding smile flanked by cute dimples and the bluest eyes he had ever seen. For a moment he was so breath-taken by the beauty of the stranger and all thoughts of the party left his mind. So, of course, when he did manage to be able to string a sentence together, he reacted with hostility.

"Says the guy that grabbed a random person's hand." He bit back, but his snarl became a reluctant smirk when the guy laughed.

"Fair point," he said, "I was just trying to be friendly."

"Friendly?" Nico repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah, that was very _friendly_." He was rewarded with another laugh from the handsome stranger. Sometime in the last few seconds Nico had decided that what he wanted more than anything was to keep him laughing. He wasn't sure whether it was because he just wanted someone to talk to at this terrible party, or because he wanted to finally make a friend at university, or because he just needed to keep the attention of the handsome stranger. Probably that last one.

"Well, I am sorry for being nice. I'll just take the chips and go, shall I?"

"Fine." Nico shrugged and turned away, but he peeked back at the table over his shoulder just a few seconds later. "Hey! Put that down!"

"What?" The blond asked innocently as he stood a few paces away from the table with the bowl in his hands. "I said I'd take them."

"Yeah, but-"

"I like chips. And I wouldn't dare keep on coming back here all night and having to go through all this again. Wouldn't want you to think I was being friendly." He grinned teasingly, and Nico got the feeling he often had around Percy of wanting to both punch him and kiss him. "But if you want them, come and get it!" He gave Nico a wink (which Nico knew he should have found ridiculous, but instead he found ridiculously adorable) and disappeared into the crowd.

The moment he had vanished, the room suddenly felt a lot louder, as all the noises that Nico had tuned out came rushing back in full force. Brought back to the present moment, Nico sighed and walked away from the food table, finding an empty chair to sit down in. As much as he was aware that the cute guy's last sentence to him had been a clear invitation to go after him, he couldn't do it. He didn't know how to handle what it would mean.

Nico was gay, and he had known that about himself for a while now. But no one else did. He hadn't told anyone. He wasn't sure if he was ready for it. He wasn't ready for more of the judgement that he had already gotten more than his fair share of just from being an outsider. Nico didn't know how much worse it could get, but he did know that it was inevitable. And he knew that his father would be a huge obstacle. He was very old-fashioned and had a set way of viewing the world that was not subject to change. Nico couldn't predict what would happen when he came out, but he knew it would be bad.

The part that scared him most was that if it all went wrong, he wouldn't be able to take it back. He couldn't say, "Just kidding, I'm actually as straight as an arrow" and then go on with life as it had been. It was something that would alter the way people saw him and the way he lived his life, and he wasn't used to making such big decisions. Nico was used to going with the flow and hiding in the crowd so that he could avoid criticism. Being labelled as gay, other, different, would definitely keep him from being able to hide away.

Though there were times when he didn't want to hide. He was sick of it all. It took so much effort to constantly restrain his true self. Nico could never truly relax and feel comfortable when he had a secret lingering in the back of his mind every single minute. It had gotten to the point where he often felt guilty around Percy and Annabeth from holding back something so big from them. They always told each other about everything, right from Annabeth's horrible stepmother to Percy's struggles at school and Nico's loss of his sister Bianca. But this was different. This was something that he had to keep locked up inside him, at least for just a little bit longer.

So he couldn't go after the cute blond, even though he wanted to so badly. Nico wasn't sure if the guy could tell that Nico was gay or if he was just flirting anyway, but heading over there would definitely broadcast the fact that Nico was interested in guys. In a party like this, that gossip would spread instantly, and a drunken party full of strangers was not the way that Nico wanted to come out.

Nico stayed there waiting for the party to end (or at least for enough time to pass that he could leave), mindlessly playing games on his phone, very purposefully not looking in the direction that the boy had vanished or towards the food table. He hoped that the night would pass without anyone else approaching him and striking up a conversation with him, but sadly that wasn't the case.

"How's it going?" Nico looked up to see Annabeth walking towards him, slightly swaying on her feet from the alcohol that was undoubtedly in her system.

"I want to leave," he told her, "but I wouldn't dare be so antisocial. That would be so unlike me." Annabeth giggled, and kept on giggling for an unnaturally long time, only stopping when she hiccuped, which she found hilarious, and so she giggled again...

While Nico was waiting for Annabeth to recompose herself, he found his eyes drifting around the room again. He had almost convinced himself that he was going to stop being a chicken and at least go talk to that guy again, just to keep from being so bored. After all, he did have the excuse of just wanting chips. "You looking for Percy?" Annabeth asked, and he was brought back to earth with a crash.

He had a strange feeling of guilt for his sudden crush on the random stranger. Nico knew that there was no way that Percy returned his feelings, but it felt wrong somehow to have spent the last hour or so thinking about some other guy after crushing on Percy for years. Although, the fact that he had spent so long pining for him probably meant that he should move on and find someone else to break his heart over.

"Yeah," he lied. "Where is he?"

"Behind you!" Nico heard a cheerful voice say as a hand reached out and ruffled his hair. Rolling his eyes, he turned around to face Percy, and was reminded of all the reasons that he hadn't moved on. The confident stance. The muscular frame that stood at the perfect height of just a few inches above him. The disarming grin that was almost always on his face, the one that spoke of someone that knew how to have a good time and had a sense of humour. The rumpled hair that made it look like he had just rolled out of bed. And the blue-green eyes that always had him thinking of the ocean.

Except this time, he couldn't help but think of another pair of blue eyes, another gorgeous head of hair, another beautiful smile. Nico huffed, frustrated at himself for how one-track minded he was being at the moment. "I brought drinks!" Percy cheered, and passed one over to Annabeth. "Here Neeks, you have mine," he added as he handed a second one to Nico, who was too tired and done with the party to protest.

"So what's going on here? Are you pulling the moves on Annabeth?" Percy waggled his eyebrows at Nico, who snorted.

"Hardly. I was just bitching about this party."

"Good. I know Annabeth's an amazing girl, but she's taken. She has a boyfriend. He's the whole package - funny, loyal, nice, and really good looking. You don't want to cross him." Percy winked at him.

"Sorry, who? I don't know anyone like that."

"You little-"

"Cool it, Perce." Annabeth interrupted, wrapping her arms around Percy and leaning against him. "He's just teasing, you _are_ the whole package."

"Awww, thanks babe."

Nico tried his hardest to tune out the rest of their couple-y conversation, but he couldn't stop himself from seeing the casual intimacy that was present in every single one of their movements, from the way that Annabeth was holding onto Percy to keep her balance, to the way that Percy tucked the hair that was falling out her bun back behind her ears and looked at her as though she were perfect, even in her tipsy state. The fact that he was so alone and surrounded by happy couples was what he had been noticing all night, but now it just had to happen right in front of his face between his crush and the woman said crush was completely and totally in love with.

"Well I'm going to leave you two to continue making eyes at each other. Don't mind me." Nico said as he backed away.

"See you!" Percy called out, and Annabeth waved frantically. Nico sought out Jason, figuring that he should at least say goodbye and thank him for being welcoming when he had first arrived. Percy and Annabeth were probably right, he did need to make more of an effort with people. But he needed a bit of help to be able to do it, and so he quickly downed half of the drink that Percy had handed to him. He wrinkled his nose at the strong taste, but soon enough he could feel the comforting buzz that came with alcohol that made everything seem a lot less intimidating.

Nico recognised Jason's blond hair over by the door and was relieved to see that he was by himself. He hadn't had quite enough to drink to talk to any more people than he had to. He just wanted to say goodbye and leave. "Jason," he said, poking his shoulder to get his attention, not really caring so much about the physical contact now that he was slightly buzzed. "You've got the wrong guy." The boy sighed, sounding as though he had said that many times. Then he looked up from his phone, grinned, and added, "or maybe not."

Nico couldn't stop the smile that rose to his face as he realised who he was talking to. The guy from the food table, the one that he had spent the last hour trying to work the guts up to go talk to. Looked like fate had taken the hard choice out of his hands. "Hi again. Hi. Hello." Nico stuttered, struggling to find the words. "I'm leaving. I was just coming to say goodbye."

"It's nice to see I made that much of an impression on you." Nico felt the blood rush to his face as he realised what he said. "No, no! I meant, I thought you were Jason. And I wanted to say goodbye to him. Because I'm leaving."

Will laughed that beautiful laugh again. "I kinda got that."

"Sorry, I just..." Nico gave up on trying to repair his mistake and instead moved onto the question that he had been wanting to ask for the last hour. "What's your name?"

"William Solace. Call me Will." He said, holding out his hand to shake.

"Nico di Angelo." He replied out of habit, but hesitated to shake hands.

"Oh, sorry, is this being too friendly?" Will teased. Nico shook his head reached out for Will's hand, grasping it again, though this time intentionally.

"I'm sorry again," Nico said to fill the silence between them, "for thinking you were Jason."

"Don't be. It happens all the time. We look pretty similar."

"But you're cuter." Nico blurted out. It took him a few seconds to realise what he had said. "Fuck," he whispered, dropping Will's hand, which he had also just noticed he was still holding on to, "I gotta go."

Without looking back, without stopping to find Jason and say goodbye as he had been planning to, without telling Percy or Annabeth he was leaving, Nico hurried out of the apartment. Out in the corridor, he realised that he was still holding onto his drink. He finished it quickly as he walked, hoping that it could help him forget what he had just done, and then chucked the plastic cup towards a bin, not even slowing his pace when he missed his mark by a metre.

Nico walked to the bus stop in the dark, the way lit only by a few flickering street lights, and attempted to distract himself with the cracks in the concrete, the sound of the night, and thoughts of his coursework. But it didn't work, and when he reached the bus shelter, he put his head in his hands and thought about the words that had come out of his stupid, alcohol-affected mouth. He thought about what this would mean for him, if Will would forget about it, or if he would tell anyone and spread his secret. But mostly he thought of Will's bright blue eyes and the smile that had appeared on his face when Nico called him cute.


	3. He can't even call up his friends

**Chapter 3: He can't even call up his friends**

 **A/N: New chapter :) This one's pretty angsty and I'm really happy with how it turned out. Hope you like it!**

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Nico stayed home the next few days. He couldn't deal with people or classes; he was just too drained. He told his father, Hades, that he wasn't feeling well and got his notes from his classes online and kept up with his work so he wouldn't fall too far behind. He also got some of his notes from Annabeth, who had come by to visit, worried about him. "This isn't like you." She said a few days after the party. "You never get sick. What's wrong?"

"I just..." Nico coughed for effect. "I'm just not feeling well at all. Sore throat, cough, headache...the works." Annabeth raised a dubious eyebrow.

"You know I can tell when you're lying, right? So, is there anything you want to change about your story?" Nico didn't answer. "This doesn't have anything to do with Jason's party?" Nico was surprised that she knew that much, but given that it was Annabeth he supposed it wasn't that shocking. But even though she knew that his story was complete bullshit, and he knew she knew it, and she knew that he knew that she knew he was lying, he kept his mouth shut.

Annabeth sighed. "Okay then. Do you want me to go through any of this with you?" Nico shook his head.

"I just want to go to sleep." He groaned, and this was less of a lie.

"Yeah, you should probably do that. It'd be good for you. It might actually lighten those bags under your eyes a bit."

"Shut up." He said, but there was no bite to it because he knew just as well as she did how much truth was in her words. With a final reminder to look after himself and to call her if he needed anything else, Annabeth was out the door, headed for the apartment that she shared with Percy.

Speaking of Percy, Nico hadn't heard seen him in the last few days. Sure, Percy had texted to check up on him, but he hadn't come with Annabeth to visit him any of the times, and Nico couldn't help but feel a bit insulted. He knew it didn't mean anything, but it stung a little. And he missed him.

A few hours later, Nico heard the opening of the front door that signalled the return of his father from a long day of work at the office. He arrived home at the same time each night, and each time they went through the same routine. "I'm home!" His dad called out.

"Me too." Nico replied.

"You doing your homework?"

"Yes."

"Good."

And that was all. Hades went into the living room and Nico retreated to his bedroom, crawling into bed and pulling the blankets over his head, trying to shut the whole world out. Maybe if he stayed in there long enough it would work.

It didn't, but a few days later he was feeling almost back to normal. Nico had recovered from his extreme embarrassment and had spent long enough attempting to make himself feel better by telling himself that it was no big deal, that Will Solace had forgotten all about him and the whole encounter meant nothing to him. It only barely worked, but it was something.

Nico returned to his usual routine at university, but he was even more introverted than usual. He couldn't bring himself to participate in conversations, even more scared now that he would screw it all up again. He felt more alone than ever, even though each day he sat with a circle of people that had grown since the party, and he was occasionally approached by people in his classes that he recognised from Jason's party.

The reunion that was the most shocking was in his chemistry lecture. "Hey," Will said as he slid into the seat next to Nico on his first day back. Nico wondered whether he was always smiling; it definitely seemed like it. He also wondered whether there was a chance that Will had forgotten what he had said to him at the party before he ran away. He hoped so.

'I'm Will, before you get confused. The cuter one." As quickly they surfaced, Nico's hopes were dashed. In any other setting he may have been able to think of it as a funny story or treat it as a joke, but right now the stakes were too high and Nico had to shut Will down before anyone heard him. "Looks like someone's got a high opinion of himself."

"But you said-"

"I was drunk." Nico spat, trying to put some venom into his words.

"But then-"

"I didn't mean it."

"Really? You-"

"Shut the fuck up!"

Finally Will stopped talking, just in time for their professor to turn up. But Nico had trouble focusing when Will was sitting next to him. Just being next to him made him hyper-aware of everything that he was doing. It felt like he was on fire and he hoped he didn't look it. Nico kept on sneaking glances at Will, trying his hardest to be subtle, which was obviously ruined by him blushing bright red whenever Will caught him in the act. It was obvious that Will knew that he was lying when he said he wasn't attracted to him, and that it hadn't just been the alcohol talking, but Will still looked like a kicked puppy. Nico found out that there were times when William Solace didn't smile, and it crushed him that he was the cause of it. _Crushed is a good word for this whole experience_ , he thought wryly.

When the professor finished his lecture and the class began to pack up and get ready to leave, Nico turned to Will to find him already staring at him, waiting for him to say something. He held his gaze for a few moments before he dropped his eyes to the floor, unable to stand the intensity any longer. "Can you just not talk about it, at least so loudly?" Nico said to the black and white speckled carpet. "And not when there are so many people around? No one knows that I..." He trailed off, but he knew that Will would understand what he was talking about.

His smile was back. "Of course. I get it." He swung his backpack on and stood up, suddenly towering over him. "See you later!" And with another one of his gorgeous grins, Will was leaving, striding through the aisle with a spring in his step and his head held high. Nico watched him go, putting off packing away his books for just a few moments longer, watching with a bittersweet feeling in his heart.

Though he hadn't said it outright, Will was now the only person in the world that knew he was gay. It wasn't how he had pictured it happening. If he had had to imagine how his first coming out would go, it would probably be to Percy and Annabeth, when he was over at their place hanging out and having a great time. Nico would explain, and they would understand straight away. Annabeth would give him a lecture on how to tell his father and help him through it, then give him the courage to join the university LGBT club and introduce him to others like himself. Percy would lighten the mood with a bunch of jokes, but then hug him tight and tell him that he was his best friend no matter what, and that he would never let anyone mess with him for it.

But that wasn't what had happened at all. Instead, Nico had told a complete stranger, specifically one that he was attracted to. It hadn't been a conversation. He couldn't even bring himself to say the actual word. It hadn't been someone that he was close to. And it hadn't been for himself - it had just been to stop Will from feeling hurt. Though Nico did have to admit that now that someone knew the secret that he had been bottling up for years he felt so much freer, like he could now walk away in the same confident way that Will had.

Unfortunately, that feeling drained away as he stepped out of the lecture theatre, and he found himself falling back to reality. Telling one random stranger about his sexuality and being accepted wasn't going to solve all of his problems. There were so many more people in his life. It wasn't going to be easy. Percy and Annabeth wouldn't understand. They hadn't had to experience anything like this. They had their romantic life sorted out, as did everyone else around them, or at least it seemed so.

He couldn't even imagine telling his father. Nico wanted to hide just from thinking about it. He was the most old-fashioned person he had ever had the misfortune to meet, and each time the subject came up in the news Nico wanted to leave the room just from hearing what his father had to say about it.

"That's disgusting. It's just unnatural."

"I don't understand."

"This is the problem with people these days. They start thinking that they can just go against the laws of nature and do all sorts of wrong things."

"You make sure you never hang around people like this, Nico. They're a bad influence, do you understand?"

Nico scrunched his eyes shut in an attempt to block out the memories, but it just made it worse to not be able to see proof of the fact that he wasn't back home, sitting at the kitchen table in silence as his dad insulted the most secret part of him. He shook his head, trying to shake the thoughts away and bring himself back to the present moment, and hurried towards the library.

He found the most tucked away corner and dragged an armchair right up against the wall so that it was impossible for him to be seen unless someone walked right down the row of bookshelves to the back. Nico pulled out his notes from the previous lecture from his backpack and read through them to make sense of what he had written while he was distracted by Will. He was still frustrated and scared from his recent flashback of his personal nightmare, though, so he had barely read though any of it when he was interrupted.

"What are you hiding back here for?" Obviously he hadn't hidden himself well enough. Percy looked around for another armchair, and failing to find one, he sat on the ground in front of Nico, who sighed and told him, "I wanted to be alone."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just don't want to talk to anyone." Nico hoped Percy would take the hint. He didn't.

"What happened? You can't be upset over nothing."

"I'm not upset!" Nico exploded, taking a deep breath to keep calm, but Percy wasn't helping.

"Of course not. That's why you're yelling at me." He smirked.

"Just leave me alone."

Percy frowned, the smirk falling of his face. "Come on Nico. You don't usually shut me out. Everyone else, yeah fine, but not me or Annie. She said you were really quiet when she came to visit, even more than usual. That's why I didn't come. You know I'm not good with this stuff. I just want to help you." By the time he had finished talking, Percy's face was twisted up in an mixture of discomfort, guilt, and hurt that Nico recognised from seeing on his own face in the mirror, emotions that he himself felt in that moment. But he was tired of feeling that way.

He started shoving his books and papers back into his bag, not caring about the way they were getting crumpled in his haste. "Hey, hey, hey, what are you doing?" Percy asked, furrowing his brow and rising to his feet.

"If you're not leaving, I am." Nico snarled, and moved to push past him. Percy grabbed onto his shoulders.

"Wait a sec-"

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

His voice shattered the silence of the library into a million pieces, and he could hear conversations dying away in the other corners of the library as people were startled by the sound, then hushed to try and listen in, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. Something in Percy's face broke, and the pained look came back. His hands dropped from Nico, and when Nico stepped away from him, he didn't move to stop him again. Nico broke into a run, ignoring the many curious eyes that were following him, leaving Percy behind. He didn't stop running until he made it into his car.

Before he knew it, he was home, without any recollection of the drive home. Nico went through the motions of unpacking his bag and then collapsed on his bed. He laid there as the room grew dark around him. When his father got home Nico called out to him without even moving, having learned his lines so well that he didn't have to put any thought into answering the same old questions. His phone lit up a few times with calls from Percy, and then once from Annabeth, but he ignored them all.

Nico needed to talk to someone badly. He ached to pick up his phone and call them and explain everything to them, why he was scared, what he had been hiding from everyone, why he was the way he was. But even after all this time, he didn't trust them as much as he wanted to. He didn't trust anyone. He couldn't open himself up and be that vulnerable to anyone. So he stayed on the bed as night crept up on him and drained all the colour from the sky and from his phone, which eventually stopped lighting up to tell him that someone cared.


	4. He's so ashamed of himself

**Chapter 4 – He's so ashamed of himself**

 **A/N: Sorry I'm a bit late :( I should have known that I would never be able to keep to a regular updating schedule. Oh well. I try. To make up for it, this chapter is extra long and filled with drama. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**

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Nico didn't talk to Percy about his blow up the next time he saw him. Percy didn't bring it up either. Nico knew that he should apologise and admit that he had been unreasonably angry at Percy, but if he let go of that anger then he would have to face the fact that he was just a terrible person. It was a fact that Nico tried his hardest to keep hidden from himself in order to stay strong and keep on going, but it was getting difficult to deny the truth any longer.

But Nico kept on dragging himself to university and didn't skip any more of his classes. He hated missing out on them. Even with all of the lecture notes being posted on the university website, it was hard for him to catch up after taking time off. He actually kind of enjoyed learning, and staying away from university meant staying at home instead. Even though Nico preferred being by himself to being around other people, he hated being at his home all day. The place just felt empty and dark, and it didn't feel much better when his father was home.

Which lead to the main reason why Nico studied hard: to get out. He needed his degree to get a job and move out as soon as possible. That would give him the independence and freedom that he had been craving for years. It would finally give him the opportunity to live his own life.

That was the thought that kept him going to classes even in this dark stage of his life. Nico had withdrawn from the world, barely even talking to Percy and Annabeth, and drifted his way through the weeks. He didn't make an effort to keep up with them, or any of the people that he had met recently.

But there was one person that he couldn't avoid even if he wanted to - which he didn't, not really. Will sat next to him every chemistry class, and even when they didn't talk Nico found his presence comforting. He enjoyed the idea that there was someone that was okay with sitting with him in silence and not pushing for explanations. Will was just happy to be there in Nico's company, and Nico couldn't quite explain even to himself why such a simple fact made lifted him up each time he thought it.

But even the best dreams had to end. This particular dream was shattered one afternoon when they had just sat down in one of the cafes at the university for a much needed coffee and study session. Nico wasn't quite sure when he had become Will's study partner. He only knew that about a week previously Will had picked up his phone from his desk and entered in his contact information and then handed his phone across to Nico for him to do the same, and that they had been texting every day since.

"I have to ask," Will started cautiously, once he had taken the first sip of his coffee. "Jason was talking to me the other day, he said that Piper said to him that Percy told her that Annabeth...no, that's not right. It was-"

"Will." Nico laughed, even considering the subject matter, he couldn't help it. Will was just so adorable sometimes. Scratch that, he was adorable pretty much _all_ of the time. Plus he had a milk froth moustache. "Just get to the point."

"Percy wants to know why you've been ignoring him. I don't really know the guy, so I don't know how close you are, or what he's like, or what's going on. I'm just passing on a message."

Nico sighed, the moment broken. "I know I should. It's just a little thing. I shouldn't be so upset about it. He was just being his usual irritating self the other day and I snapped."

"So why haven't you explained to him? I'm sure he'd understand. It happens to everyone."

"I just...it takes effort." Nico mumbled. "Keeping up a friendship. And there's just so much going on, I don't know if I have it in me anymore. It doesn't come naturally to me. I was already withdrawing from him anyway."

"You're doing pretty okay right now." Will gestured between the two of them, and Nico felt a blush rise unbidden to his cheeks at the thought of there being a 'two of them'.

"It's harder when you've known someone for a long time. Because then they know you and they can really see through your bullshit." Nico bit his lip, trying to decide whether or not he should say the next part.

"So there's more to it?"

"I just thought it might be easier this way." Nico stared hard at the table, following the grain of the wood with his eyes so that he wouldn't be tempted to look up at Will. "It just hurt too much, seeing him around Annabeth...maybe this will help me get over him. Staying away for a bit."

He clasped his hands around each other, and he squeezed them hard enough that it hurt. As he was trying to pin down what exactly it was about Will that made him trust him so much and spill his secrets, Will answered. "I'm sorry Nico. That sucks." Nico nodded, unsure of what else to do. "But you can't let that stop you from being friends with him. You guys are really close mates right?" He nodded again. "Does he know that you're gay?" Nico flinched at the word that suddenly sounded so harsh, remembering all the times he had heard it being used as a weapon.

"When I said no one knows, I meant it." Nico told him. He thought that Will was going to make a joke along the lines of ' _am I no one?_ ', and he was pretty sure that the thought crossed Will's mind, but Will didn't break the moment in that way, and for that Nico was grateful. He wouldn't have been able to bear him making light of this situation. "Then maybe you should-"

"Maybe I should what?" Nico snapped, his anger rising once again he couldn't hold it back. These days he was so quick to lose his temper. "Confess all to him? Talk to him about my feelings? Say to him, "hey Percy, I've had a huge crush on you for years and it's slowly killing me and I hate myself for it"? Yeah, that will solve all of my problems." He finished with a derisive snort and glared up at Will.

He had hoped that he would be met with a scared look from Will. Indeed, Will was wearing that expression, but it wasn't directed at him. Rather, it was directed at something over his shoulder, and Nico whipped his head around to see what it was. Or, as it turned out, _who_ it was.

"Jason?" Nico felt his heart sink down to his stomach. His instinct was to either deny everything or ask how much he had heard, but it was pretty clear from the bug-eyed look Jason was giving that he had heard enough. Nico turned away from him to see Will wearing the exact same wide-eyed, slack-jawed, pale-faced expression.

"Nico, I- I didn't- I'm sorry." He stuttered. "I invited him to study with us. Cecil, too. I didn't think about it."

"I'll just go-" Nico heard Jason say before he backed away from them and left the cafe, but he wasn't paying attention. There were two thoughts occupying his brain at the moment and he was infuriated by the fact that one of them was that Will hadn't intended for this to be a one-on-one study session. He wrenched his mind away from that thought and forced himself to focus on the bigger problem of the two.

"Now he knows...he knows about me!" Nico hissed, keeping his voice low even though there were only very few people in the cafe apart from them. "How long do you think it will be until Percy knows?" Will ran his fingers through his hair, destroying the style that had just been so perfect and neat.

"You can trust him." Will told him. "It's going to be okay."

"Don't you dare tell me how I'm supposed to feel about this!" Nico spat at him, breathing hard and feeling on the edge of total panic.

"At least now you don't have to keep it to yourself." Will pleaded with his eyes for Nico to see the best in the situation, but he wasn't having it.

"I was fine as I was."

"No you weren't. You hated having you hide. It was eating away at you inside." Will's eyes widened, and then words started tumbling out of his mouth, almost too fast and jumbled for Nico to make sense of, and even then Nico thought he must he misunderstanding him because what he heard was, "That just rhymed. Hide? Inside? Heh, looks like I'm I poet and I don't know it. Have I ever told you about my dad? He loved poems, especially haik-"

"Would you shut up and take me seriously? Look, being gay might not be a big deal to you, but it is for me!"

Again that harsh word was out in the open, and now Nico was too. He realised that it was the first time that he had admitted it out loud using that word, but he wasn't really in the mood for pulling out a journal and writing a flowery entry to commemorate the moment.

Nico had noticed before that it seemed as though Will was almost always smiling. Even when his lips weren't physically stretched in a grin, he would still always smile with his eyes, or just his general aura around him gave of the feeling that he was smiling. But now he wore an anti-smile: pursed lips; down-turned eyes that looked flat and without their depth all of a sudden; gaze to the ground; his shoulders hunched over. More than anything that had happened, it was this that brought Nico's mood down. If something had finally broken Will's persona, it had to be something that would absolutely destroy Nico.

"What else do you want from me? I was just trying to make you feel better," Will said to his shoes, "but if that's how you're going to be, maybe you should just leave."

"Fine. I will." Somehow, without him realising, Nico had already gotten to his feet with his bag in hand. All that he had left to do was turn around and walk out, but even in that tiny moment between the last word falling from his mouth and him whirling around he could see Will's face fall even further. Nico was at the door before it registered that maybe Will had wanted him to stay, but his pride and instinct to always run kept him moving.

He drove home in a daze, his earbuds planted firmly in his ears to drown out the noise of the people around him and roar of his memories. Nico was almost home when he realised that he had another class that he had to go to that day, but he barely batted an eyelid at the thought.

Arriving home, he sat down at the table, the nearest place that he could find to sit down, and slumped over. There was a pause in which the world was silent and calm. Then Nico's grip on himself cracked, and he was trembling, hit again by the realisation of what had just happened. He didn't cry, but his body shuddered with sobs and his breath came in shaky gasps. His face pressed hard against the kitchen table, the collar of his jacket rubbed against his neck, the zips and buttons dug into his skin, and the edge of the wood cut into his stomach.

Nico couldn't piece together why he was sobbing so hard. He wasn't sure if it was for Will, or Percy, or himself. Maybe it was all of it. Maybe it was none of it. If could have just been the fact that he was so fucking lonely and he had been holding it in and hiding for too long. Whatever the reason, he stayed there for a long time, and was still hunched over the table hiccuping and coughing and looking like a mess when his father got home.

"I'm home!" But Nico didn't answer. It was too late for him to scurry to his room and act like nothing was wrong, and he honestly didn't want to. He didn't have the energy, and Will had been right; he was tired of hiding. He was tired of being silent and staying cut off and letting the world happen around him. And he was sick of following his lines and routines with his father each night.

So he didn't say anything in response to his father, instead holding on to his usual silence, but this time it was as an act of rebellion of tradition. Though Nico knew that any moment now it would break and the words would come crashing out, he didn't know what exactly he was going to say when that happened.

Nico heard his father's footsteps approach and then stop. He didn't look up. "What happened?" He heard a heavy sigh come along with those words, and he tensed up, knowing that he was being asked the question out of a sense of obligation rather than genuine caring. The thought grated at him and pushed him to speak. "I had a bad day." Nico took his first look up since his father had entered their home.

"What was so bad about it?" Hades was standing over him with a stern frown on his face. "You never get upset like this." He said it as though it were an undeniable fact that he was certain of, rather than just an assumption he had made from the little of Nico that he saw. "What would you know?" Nico shot back.

"You're being overly dramatic. What is going on?"

"There's a lot going on in my life that you don't know about." Nico said bitterly.

"Would you care to enlighten me? Or do you need me to play the guessing game?" Nico heard the same bitterness in his father's voice then, and idly wondered if that was where he had gotten that habit from. Probably.

When Nico didn't answer, he sighed. "You got a job."

"No."

"You are struggling at university."

"No."

"You are doing very well at university."

"No."

"You are extremely busy being social with all your many friends." Nico heard his answers getting steadily more and more sarcastic. It had now become a chance for Hades to pick on Nico for all the many things about him that he considered to be wrong. Nico stopped bothering to dignify them with a response or even pay attention.

He only tuned back in when his father said, "You have a girlfriend." That was what snapped him out of his daze. It was the topic of thinking that he had held for weeks now, unable to put aside. After all the time that he had spent over the last few years thinking of how he would come out to his father, Nico hadn't really considered exactly what he was going to say too deeply. The words that fell out of his mouth now were simply "No. Not interested."

The silence that Nico had grown accustomed to in this house returned in an instant and reigned over the long pause that followed his words, punctuated only by the sound of Nico's suddenly loud and fast heartbeat. "What did you just say?" The tone of his father's voice was as Nico had never heard it before. For once it was unsure, not commanding and confident like Nico was used to it being. He had surprised him for once, and he found a savage satisfaction in that.

"I said I'm not interested in having a _girl_ friend. Ever." He was breathing hard now. He had never stepped out of line so much with his father before. He had always been obedient. He had never rebelled against his father, kept in line by an odd mixture of fear, discomfort and a desperate want to impress him. But now, even though it was mostly out of reckless anger and frustration, he was admitting to Hades that he was something that was so far against his beliefs.

"Do you mean th-"

"You know exactly what I mean." Nico sneered up at him. Nico tried his hardest to keep that expression on his face but he felt his guard slipping. He watched the expressions on his father's face as they cycled through: confusion, realisation, and anger, but then the one that cut the deepest surfaced: disappointment.

"You should know better. I raised you better than this." Hades said, and it was the disappointment that got to Nico the most. But disappointment was something that he couldn't brush off. Nico had spent his whole life feeling not good enough for his father and not good enough for himself. He had spent years hating himself for who he was, and he couldn't stand being on the receiving end of that sentiment from someone else as well. And who the fuck was Hades to decide that being gay was lesser? That it was something for which he should be ashamed of the only child he had left?

The anger Nico could handle, because he was used to shutting out hate and people that didn't understand him. He was used to the idea that his father was angry at people that he couldn't understand, and he knew that anger didn't last forever, and that it always hurt the person that was angry more than the person that they were angry at. At some point, the fire had to burn out, and they would be the ones bearing the burns.

Not that he had ever been able to keep that lesson in mind when it came to his own anger. And definitely not today.

"You raised me better, did you?" Nico found the power come back into his voice, as he re-entered the familiar territory of sarcasm and cutting defence. "What exactly did that involve? I don't remember you having much of a hand in it. It was just Mum."

"How dare you-"

"No, how dare _you_ treat me like this? You can't be absent from my life and not have anything to do with me when I need you, and then come swooping in and try to control me like this."

Nico was trying to get through to his father, to cut in deep and get him to hear and realise the effect that he was having with his words and his actions, but it wasn't happening. Hades rolled on with his rant. "Is this just you trying to get attention? Nico, I know I'm always at work, but you don't have to tell lies like this. I give you my word that I'll try to pay more attention to you."

"Dad-"

"Does this have something to do with you not having a mother? Did that damage you? See, this is what happens when you mess up a family dynamic, do you hear me? Each child needs one father and one mother, not two-"

"I'm not screwed up!"

"Nico, you're sitting at the table crying about how you're a queer. How can you expect me to believe that you're perfectly okay with it and there's nothing wrong with you?"

"It's not-"

"How long have you been keeping this from me?"

"A while. Though I can't imagine what could have possibly made me keep it bottled up so long. Couldn't have anything to do with how accepting you're acting right now, " Nico's voice was laced with deadly bitter sarcasm, but it still wasn't enough to defend him from the monster that his father had transformed into. "How can you possibly be upset that I didn't tell you sooner? Would that have made a difference? Was there a certain time period where it was okay in your books to be gay? Maybe you're a reasonable human being during the month of April and I should have told you then? Please, do tell me what you would have wanted me to do."

"I wish you hadn't told me at all. I wish I didn't know. I wish you had kept it to yourself and I never had to find out, because if I have to have a gay son I don't want to know about it. And I wish Bianca had lived instead. She would never have acted out like this."

The breath rushed out of his lungs, and for a moment Nico was unable to breathe, let alone give an answer. There was nothing left to say, and absolutely no response to that last part. But he wanted to get a few more punches out there while he still had the opportunity. "So, what are you going to do now? Send me to my room?"

It seemed as though Hades had used up all of his words. He had turned away from Nico silently, back to his usual habit of ignoring him and existing on another plane to him. "Are you going to kick me out?" Nico yelled after him, not sure what he was aiming for, just knowing that it hurt even more for his father to walk away after he had crushed the most private piece of him like it was nothing. "Isn't that what homophobic parents do when their gay kids come out to them?"

Hades looked back over his shoulder but didn't even make eye contact with him. He glared at the floor by Nico's feet. "Why are you asking me questions? It seems like you don't respect anything I have to say, and I have no control over you. Do what you want. Just get out of my sight." And with that Hades was out of the room.

Nico didn't wait to see him go. He retreated to his bedroom, as he probably should have done the second he heard his father arriving home, and curled up on his bed. He stayed there for hours, trapped inside his own head, reliving memories of the good old days before he realised that he was gay and didn't have to worry about this crap. About the times when he was realising it, the frst feelings of attraction towards Percy, when he first noticed it, and then when he came to terms with what he was. Then all of the times that Nico had heard Hades tearing apart people like him, and then of the fight that they had just had.

But mostly, he thought of his mother and his sister. Bianca had a few years older than him and they had been like two peas in a pod. Both of their parents had tough, long-hour office jobs that they were both completely wrapped up in, and so Bianca and Nico were often left at home by themselves to look after and entertain each other. Bianca had introduced him to a card game called Mythomagic to help pass the time. Nico hadn't played that game in years, but he still had all his cards tucked away under his bed.

Though his mother had also been busy with her work, she had made more of an effort than their father to spend time with them. She had been the one to raise them, look after them, teach them everything and do all that children needed from their parents. But this way of life was shattered when she and Bianca were killed in a car crash when Nico was young. After they died, Hades and Nico moved out of their family house and into the city apartment that still didn't feel like home.

He hadn't been old enough when they had died to remember much of what his father had been before the accident. But he did have just a few feelings, thoughts niggling in the back of his head, memories of memories. Memories of times when they had been a whole family together, before they had been torn apart, when his father had joined in on jokes and fun and laughter. But he didn't let himself pity Hades too much for it. Nico had been through the same loss, and Hades was supposed to be the responsible adult. He shouldn't have shut his child out.

Nico stayed closed up in his room, lost in thought. He blocked out everything else: the noise from the apartments around them; the sound of the TV that Hades was watching; the grumbling of his own stomach. Then, in a flash of inspiration, it came to him. He didn't have to stay there. There was nothing keeping him there. He could just leave. At this point, he didn't think Hades would object too much if he wasn't there in the morning. It would be a step in the right direction if Nico got out of there for a bit. And it wasn't as though he was doing too well with his friends at the moment. He had shut out his old friends, blown up at Will, and Jason knew his secrets, which meant that the rest of his friends were probably not far behind.

So, in the dead of night, Nico packed a duffle bag of clothes, toiletries, some food, and shoved his phone in his pocket. Hades would be asleep by now so he didn't have to worry about that. Adrenaline was flooding through his veins, an unfamiliar feeling after spending so long being numb and scared of taking risks. Nico grabbed his bag and headed for the building's underground car park where his car waited, without any further hesitation or changing his mind.

Well, except for when he doubled back to grab his deck of Mythomagic cards.


	5. So he disappeared

**Chapter 5 – So he disappeared**

 **A/N: Wishing you all a merry Christmas and a happy new year! I've changed things up a bit with changes of POV this chapter. Can I just say that writing this has given me feels over Percabeth all over again and they are so perfect for each other I just *sigh* I hope I wrote their characters pretty accurately. What do you think? Please let me know in a review :)**

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Annabeth had suspected for months now that there was something wrong with Nico. By 'wrong' she didn't mean that he was broken or there was something messed up about him. Yes, he had always been different, but that was just who he was. Everyone was different in some way; it was just more noticeable with Nico. He had always seemed as though he were out of touch with the rest of the world. He was reserved, and sometimes he needed even Percy and Annabeth to leave him alone for a while.

But it had never been this bad before. Nico had never pushed them away so much. Though reluctant to ask others for help, he almost always accepted it with good grace. Annabeth wasn't used to Nico being rude to her. He was touchy around almost every single other person, but he never took out his inner angst on her. She was the first person he had told about the death of his mother and sister, and she had been the one to hold him as he cried. She had barely hugged him since, and had definitely never seen him cry again.

Now she felt as though those were things that he needed. Nico needed someone to tell his problems to, someone to hug him, and a shoulder to cry on and let his feelings out. If only he would accept that fact and accept the support that he so desperately needed. Annabeth would be more than happy to give that to him, and she knew that Percy would be too, but he hadn't been replying to either of their phone calls or texts, and neither of them had seen him around the university campus. For a whole week, Annabeth tried to convince herself that it was just because Nico wanted space, and that soon enough he would come back to them as he always had and they would look after him.

But there was a voice in the back of her head that was telling her that there was more to it, and Annabeth had learned years ago to always trust her instincts. She had asked Percy enough times what he thought on the situation, but he knew no more than she did. She started cautiously asking around her friends to find out if any of them were in Nico's class and if they had seen him, but she knew that was unlikely to be helpful. Hundreds of people attended each lecture, and Nico was someone that preferred to not stand out. Annabeth was ready to do some deeper digging and go through the records and ask professors to see if Nico had been submitting his work recently, when she finally got some new information out Jason.

"You could ask Will." He suggested, not looking her in the eye when she mentioned Nico. Fair enough, she thought. Nico wasn't a very easy person to get to know, and not many people warmed to him. She hadn't expected Jason, a very easygoing and likeable person, to understand someone like Nico. A lot of people interpreted Nico's actions as being rude or standoffish. But that was a problem for another time. "They have chemistry classes together." He hesitated before adding, "They've hung out quite a bit the last few weeks. Will might know something, or at least if Nico's been coming to classes."

Annabeth knew Will vaguely, from Jason's party and from catching a few glimpses here and there, and also from Percy and Jason talking about him. But she was surprised. She hadn't heard Nico mention him at all, even though it wasn't like he had been talking to her about much of anything as of late. But it was unlike Nico to make friends all on his own. At first she was happy for him, that he had finally taken that step all on his own, and also glad that it was someone like Will - from what she'd heard of him, he was a positive and upbeat guy, and so she thought it would be good for Nico to hang out with him - but also upset and confused that Nico hadn't mentioned him or told her about him. Just another thing that he had been keeping from her recently.

Annabeth thanked Jason, and headed off to a quieter place where she could call Percy. He knew Will better than she did. She thought it was better that she brought along someone that actually knew Will, and Percy deserved to be kept in on this. Annabeth also needed Percy there to keep her from getting too intense with Will. She knew she was liable to forgetting about social niceties when she was caught up in something, and she could see herself interrogating some poor guy and scaring the shit out of him. Better that she had Percy there to break the ice.

"Hello," Percy said when he answered the phone, and just the sound of his voice calmed her nerves.

"Hey, Seaweed Brain," a smile crept onto her face at the utterance of the old nickname, and for a moment it was just another normal day and there was nothing to worry about.

"What's up?" But then the reason of her call came back to her and the smile faded away.

"Jason just told me that Will and Nico have a class together. I was wondering if you could come with me to find him and ask him about Nico."

"Sure. I have his number. I'll call him and arrange something, like for coffee, and we can talk about it. That okay?"

Annabeth's mind had wandered while he was talking, thinking about all that could have happened to Nico. She knew that he was determined to do well at university, so he wouldn't just stop coming for nothing. It had to be something big that was keeping him away, something that he either couldn't or didn't want to talk to them about. She wondered if anyone would have contacted them if something really bad had happened to him. She and Percy weren't on good terms with Nico's father, and she wondered if anyone was. Hades was even more of a shut in then Nico, and she had had only a handful of conversations with him in all the time that she had known Nico. If something terrible had gone down with Nico, would Hades bother to get in touch with them?

"Annabeth?" Percy's worried voice brought her back to the present.

"Sorry. I just drifted." She took a deep breath and tried not to tear up. "I'm just worried about him."

"Me too. But we'll figure it out, Wise Girl. It'll be okay." At this, the tears spilled over and she blinked them away.

"Yeah. Of course. I love you Percy."

"Love you too."

* * *

Percy walked to the cafe at which he had arranged to meet Will with a heavy heart. It should never have gotten to this point. Nico had been shutting him out for a long time now. Percy wasn't sure exactly what it was. It wasn't the same way Nico had been treating Annabeth in the last few weeks. This went deeper. Nico had been cold around him for months now, sending harsh glares in his direction when he thought Percy wasn't looking, glares that melted off his face the moment Percy turned his face to meet them head on. He had seemed determined to not go along with Percy's whimsy anymore, always cutting off his laughter as soon as it burst out.

Each time Percy had tried to find out what was troubling him, Nico lashed out, just as he had in the library a few weeks ago. Percy hadn't told Annabeth because he thought that Nico wouldn't have wanted her to know, but now he realised that that probably wasn't what Nico had needed. Percy should have tried harder to get through to him, to connect with him, and not just let it simmer under the surface of their easy friendship. Logically, he knew that if he had tried to push harder it would have only blown up in his face, but with Nico missing Percy wasn't in the mood to think logically. He was glad that Annabeth was going to be there to do the logical thinking for him and stay level-headed while he was struggling to keep from drowning in guilt and despair.

Only, when he reached the cafe and found Annabeth waiting out the front, Percy could tell instantly that hadn't been able to keep her usual logical thinking in place. Her arms were crossed tightly, as though she were holding herself together and her head was tucked down, instead of raised high and proud as usual. Her right foot was tapping against the ground quickly, and that was when Percy knew to worry. She usually had a close handle on her ADHD tendencies, or at least on the physical aspects of it, but when she was worried certain parts slipped through.

Percy waved to her, and catching sight of him, her foot ceased its motion, and then both feet were moving towards him and she was gripping his hands instead of herself. "Hi." Annabeth whispered, the corners of her lips flashing upwards in a brief smile that didn't reach her stormy eyes. "I was waiting for you to arrive. I think Will's there already, but I didn't want to go in without you."

"Sure." Percy said. "You ready now?" She nodded, and they walked towards the cafe door together, which Percy opened when they reached it. He often did it, as it was something that his mother had drilled into his head when they had first started dating. It was usually accompanied by a theatrical bow or a sweep of his arm, but today it was just a quick squeeze of Annabeth's hand and a "let's go do this."

They found Will at one of the tables in a similar pose that Percy had found Annabeth in: folded arms, lowered gaze, hunched shoulders, and fingers restlessly tapping out a rhythm on the tabletop. "Will!" Percy raised his free hand in greeting, and Will looked up.

"Hi, Percy. Annabeth." The couple sat down in the spare chairs, and an awkward silence followed. Usually, Percy was very talkative, and as Annabeth often said, he was good at bridging the gaps between people and putting others at ease. But today he was too on edge himself to start some meaningless chatter with Will about classes and the like.

"What's going on?" Will asked them. Percy and Annabeth exchanged glances, and he knew that they were both thinking the same thing: if Will didn't know what was happening, had he even noticed Nico's disappearance? And if he hadn't, why was he so nervous?

"We haven't seen Nico for a while." Percy answered. "We were wondering, seeing as you have a class with him, if you'd seen him."

"You mean it's not just me that he's avoiding?" Will frowned.

"Why would he be?" Annabeth asked.

"You know. He's a hard guy to get to know. I figured he just wanted some space." Percy looked across at Annabeth again, trying to ask her wordlessly if she believed him. She gave a tiny shake of her head.

Percy turned back to find Will staring at them with a pained look on his face. "No one's seen him. Are you sure you haven't heard from him?" Annabeth questioned.

"Yeah. I've, uh..." His cheeks tinged pink and he returned to staring at the table. "I've tried texting him a few times, uh, a lot, but he hasn't replied."

"What happened between you two?" Annabeth narrowed her eyes. Percy was happy to sit back at this point and proudly watch the conversation unfold. Annabeth could say as much as wanted about how he was easier and more natural with people, but when it came down to it, she was better at understanding others and getting them to spill their secrets. It was, after all, how she had gotten him to admit that he had a crush on her back in the day, Percy remembered fondly.

"Nothing! No, no, no, it's not like that!" Will hurried to say, and the blush that had returned to his face glowed brightly like a lie detector. Even Annabeth seemed taken aback by his response.

"I didn't mean that, I just-"

"Oh, sorry. I, um..." Will sighed. "We had an argument about a week ago. Monday, I think. I haven't seen or heard from him since. That's why I just thought that he was ignoring me personally."

"Monday? I think that was the last day I saw him." Annabeth said.

"Same." Percy added.

A silence fell over the group again, until Annabeth asked the question that needed to be asked. "What did you argue about? It might be-"

"I can't tell you." For the whole conversation Will had seemed uncertain, but about this he seemed certain. "He wouldn't want me to."

"But if-"

"I'm sorry." He sounded sincere, though Percy couldn't think of anything that would be important enough to have such a great impact on Nico that his oldest friends couldn't know about, but someone that he had only met a few weeks ago could. "I can't tell you, but I promise I will do anything I can to help you find him."

For the third time, silence reigned at their table, but this time it wasn't tense. Percy felt comforted for the first time that day, feeling the echo of Will's promise hanging around them, and he knew that he and Annabeth shared the sentiment. They were all in this. The three of them were going to try their hardest, and they were going to get to the bottom of this.

"So," Percy said, finally giving a smile that didn't feel fake, "where do we start?"


	6. He wants to save him

**Chapter 6 – He wants to save him**

 **A/N: late update is late. Sorry. There was this one part that was giving me a massive headache. I even told myself last night that I wouldn't let myself go to sleep until I had finished writing it, but all that happened was I stayed up until 3am scrolling through tumblr and all I got done was a few extra sentences. I have no self control whatsoever. Oops. But it's here now! Hope you all enjoy :)**

 **Also a huge shout out/thank you to Returded Turtle for pointing out to me that I hadn't tagged the characters that are in this story. I too was a bit confused as to why this story wasn't getting that many views but I was so certain that I had already done that that I didn't think to check. All sorted now :)**

* * *

Will walked up the stairs to Nico's apartment, a few paces behind Percy and Annabeth. The two of them had been here before, and were more comfortable with this, whereas Will had no idea if he were even welcome there. He and Nico hadn't parted on very good terms, and he couldn't help but feel that Nico's disappearance had something to do with their last meeting. If that were the case, it was possible that his presence would just hurt Nico even more.

Will also couldn't help but feel uncomfortable around the couple. Now that he knew how Nico felt about them, he was seeing the world through his eyes. With each glance, word, and casual touch that they shared, Will was struck by a pang of sadness on Nico's behalf. He kept thinking about what it must be like to have the only two people that he could depend on be his crush and the young woman that said crush was completely in love with.

If he were in that situation, would Will have become as reserved as Nico? Would he have felt shut out, and then in turn shut the couple out? With the two of them getting all the support that they needed from each other, it wasn't hard to see understand why Nico was so unwilling to accept help from them. It was clear that the two of them would always turn to each other first, not Nico. It must suck to never come first in anyone's book, not even your best friends.

Will was getting a taste of it now. Percy and Annabeth had arrived at Nico's door and were figuring out how to get inside, talking and bouncing ideas of each other, probably not even having noticed that Will wasn't there yet. He didn't blame them – their childhood friend was missing and they had only just met him – but he wished they were at least aware of him. And that they didn't jump in surprise when he spoke.

"What are you doing?" Will asked, cutting across their conversation.

"Looking for the spare key." Annabeth answered. "There's usually one around here, I used it to let myself in when Nico was sick, but it's not in the normal spot."

"I vote we just pick the lock." Percy suggested.

"I told you already, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth sighed, "that doesn't work like it does in the movies. It's much more complicated-"

"But you do know how to do it, right?" Percy interrupted.

"I mean, I do know the theory, but-"

"So you could give it a try? For Nico?"

Annabeth shot Percy a look that was somehow both affectionate and irritated, then rolled her eyes and slid a bobby pin out of her hair. "Cover for me if anyone comes?"

"You got it." Percy grinned. Will looked between the two of them, his mouth hanging open. He had watched the exchange in confused amazement as they worked together like a well oiled machine, but now a twinge of annoyance was setting in. Did they even notice anyone around them? And what was with Annabeth asking for cover, as though this were some high risk top secret mission? Wasn't that a little bit ridiculous? Were they really expecting anyone to-

"What are you lot up to here?" Will whipped around to see a woman about their age, laden down with shopping bags and staring at them in suspicion. "We're, um," Will felt the nervous word vomit rise up and cringed in advance, knowing that what he was about to say would no doubt be incredibly stupid. "We're just-"

"We're trying to get into my friend's place to throw him a surprise birthday party, but my friend can't figure out which of her keys is the right one." Percy gestured towards Annabeth, who had casually angled her body to block the woman's view of what she was doing as much as possible.

"I have lived directly above this apartment for the last three years. I don't-" she suddenly paused, gave a groan, then lowered her bags to the ground and folded her arms before continuing. "I don't think I've ever seen someone that would be less likely to have a surprise birthday party than the guy that lives here. Are you sure you have the right place?"

"Of course." Percy answered, and then before she could say anything else, he added, "Do you want any help getting your bags up to your apartment? It would be more than a pleasure to help a woman as beautiful as you." Percy stunned the woman into silence with a blindingly gorgeous grin.

Will couldn't blame her. It wasn't even directed at him and he was almost ready to swoon. With Percy's perfectly rumpled hair, twinkling sea-green eyes and well-built body, he could easily be a model, or an actor, or whatever he wanted really, so long as the person hiring was given the chance to fall prey to his many charms. It was no wonder Nico was unable to resist him. The thought made his heart clench, so Will wrenched his gaze away and looked at Annabeth instead, whose shoulders were shaking with that he quickly realised was suppressed laughter. Obviously she had been witness to the effect her boyfriend had on people a few too many times.

To her credit, the woman kept her composure pretty well, the only sign showing otherwise being a slight reddening of her cheeks. "Thanks you," she said to Percy, who was already bending down to collect her bags. "No worries." He replied. "Upstairs, right?" As the two headed for the stairs, Will was pretty sure he heard her mutter, "no one can say I didn't try."

As soon as they were out of sight, Annabeth's laughter finally broke free, and Will joined her. "He enjoys doing that way too much," she told him, still working on the lock. In the quiet that followed, Will struggled to find something to say. Eventually, it was Annabeth that broke the silence. "So about Nico," she began, "how did you two-"

"AND PERCY JACKSON DOES IT AGAIN!" Annabeth gave Will a look that clearly said this conversation would be continued later, then rolled her eyes and addressed her approaching boyfriend.

"Keep your voice down, Percy. I'm sure she can hear you from there. And let's not forget who's doing the real work here."

"How's that going?"

"Nearly done. Just one last tumbler..."

Sure enough, a few seconds later the lock clicked. Annabeth drew the makeshift lock pick out and swung the door open. For a second they all collided in the doorway, each of them having tried to be the first person to walk in. They halted, then followed behind Annabeth as she entered.

The apartment was empty, that much was obvious. There was no sound coming from within, and no movement as far as Will could see. But it went deeper than that. It was empty in the sense that it seemed as though no one lived in there. There was no clutter. No shoes or coats by the front door. No books lying around, or newspapers, or a magazine. All the material things that make up a home life where tucked away, or else absent entirely, and Will wondered what that said of the intangible things such as warmth and love. Where they just hidden from sight? Or were they something else that Nico was lacking?

The three of them split up silently, going through the different rooms of the apartment, though it didn't take long. Will wasn't even sure what exactly they were looking for - did they think they were detectives? Where they planning on dusting for fingerprints? Whipping out a UV light to look for traces of blood? Analysing the contents of the rubbish bin? - but he looked anyway. He stayed out of the bedrooms though. Will knew he wasn't close enough to Nico to feel okay with granting himself access to his most private space.

"What did you guys find?" Percy asked a few minutes later.

"I checked the home phone for messages," Annabeth replied, "but there were only the ones we left." She raised an eyebrow at Will, and he knew what she was wondering. Will had left messages on Nico's home phone as well as his cell. Though they hadn't given away what he and Nico had fought about, considering that Nico shared the home phone with his father, the messages would give a bit more insight to his and Nico's friendship than he felt comfortable having someone as perceptive as Annabeth knowing.

"I checked in the bathroom," Will told Annabeth, pretending that he had interpreted her eyebrow raise as her asking what he had found, "and there was only one toothbrush in the holder on the bench. So either Nico or his father is really disgusting and doesn't brush their teeth, or Nico left and took it with him."

The group was silent. Up until this point, it had been possible to tell themselves that it was just a misunderstanding, that maybe Nico was just out of the house, and maybe he was feeling sick again and had just been staying home all week. But now something as simple as a missing toothbrush made made it harder for them to ignore their instincts that had been telling them otherwise. They didn't know where, if he was staying by himself or someone else, if he had somewhere to go, or how long it would be until he came back. They didn't even know why he left. It was just another layer of mystery over the already confusing situation regarding the boy that made a habit out of hiding in the shadows.

"I'm calling him," Percy said into the quiet, pulling his phone out of his pocket and fumbling with it as he did so. He dialled with shaking fingers as Annabeth walked towards a door and stood in front of it. Will joined her by the door that he assumed must be the entrance to Nico's room, hearing in the background as Percy once again reached only voice mail and left another desperate message telling Nico to please answer and tell them he was okay at least. When he rejoined them, Will was ready to put aside all his feelings of unease at intruding and instead do whatever it took to find out what happened to Nico di Angelo, so that Percy wouldn't have to be so worried about his best friend anymore.

Without another thought, Will reached out for the doorknob, turned it, and stepped inside, leading the other two in. The trio didn't have the problem as they had before. Either they had grown to work together better as a team and be more aware of each other, the fading of the possibility that they could find Nico had taken their sense of urgency and haste, or maybe Percy and Annabeth were more reluctant than him to enter.

The room wasn't as he had expected it to be. It wasn't painted black, which - judging from what Nico wore each day - was obviously his favourite colour, if it could even be called a colour. The room _was_ dark, but that was only because the curtains were closed. The sunlight seeped through under them, and Will crossed the room to open them and cast more light into the room.

The sunlight revealed the contents of the room. A bookshelf and wardrobe stood in one corner, a desk and chair in the other, and Nico's neatly-made bed in the middle. Not a single thing was out of place. Will had expected there to be a mess of crap everywhere, like food wrappers and the typical floordrobe of someone their age, but there was a similar lack of clutter in here as there had been in the rest of the apartment.

However, there was a difference. What little there was did seem personal. The bed's doona was covered with a pattern of dragons, the shelves were completely crammed with books and comics, and there were marks on the wall that showed that there had once been posters blu-tacked onto them. The desk was covered textbooks and notebooks, still open and waiting to be read. Will peered at them and saw that several had scribbles and drawings in the margins, and he smiled despite the circumstances.

"What do we do now?" Percy asked, but Will didn't pay him much attention. Because sitting behind the textbooks were a series of photo frames. He stepped forward and picked up the one nearest him. It was unmistakably a younger Nico. The boy had the same black hair, dark eyes, and olive skin. But at the same time, he looked very different. The Nico in the photo didn't have the slouched posture that he did now from lack of confidence. He hadn't yet grown the shaggy fringe that covered his eyes, which he could see in the photo were much brighter than they were these days.

But the thing WIll noticed the most was the people standing around him. A man, a woman, and a girl that looked a few years older than Nico. Obviously his family, but he had never mentioned his mother or a sister to Will. "That's Bianca." Annabeth told him, suddenly at his shoulder. "She died in a car crash with their mother a few years back."

Will was struck dumb. What were you supposed to say about that? That he was sorry? That always fell flat in the face of such a great loss. Could he say he didn't know? That much was obvious, and though he was hurt by the fact that Nico hadn't said anything about it, he understood that it was too personal for Nico to tell to someone that he had only known for a few weeks, and Will wasn't going to focus on his own petty feelings at a time like this. Maybe he could say that this loss at such a young age of people so close to him explained why Nico was so reserved? No. Definitely not. So instead Will just said "oh" and reached for the next photo.

In this photo, Nico was a few years older. He looked much closer to how he did now, and Will guessed that that must be because it was after the death of his sister and mother. He was standing next to a pretty girl about his age, with dark skin, dark brown hair and golden eyes. "Who is she?"

"Not his girlfriend, if that's what you mean." Annabeth smirked, and again Will wondered how much she suspected about Nico. "That's his half-sister, Hazel. Nico met her just a few years ago. She lives in her own place in a small town a few hours away, but her and Nico still see each other a lot."

"Do you think...?" Will trailed off, not daring to hope.

"Good idea!" Annabeth grinned, and then raced out of the room.

"What happened? Where's she going?" Percy asked Will.

"We think Nico might be with Hazel."

"Of course!"

They hurried out to find Annabeth flipping through a small notepad on the bench in the kitchen. "Do you guys know where Hazel lives?" Will asked tentatively.

"No." Annabeth answered. "I'm looking for her phone number now. One of them must have written down Hazel's contact information in here."

A few tense minutes later, Annabeth called out, and much like Percy before, she began dialling the number on her phone with shaking fingers, but this time shaking from excitement. "Wait, wait, wait." Will said, halting her. "What are you going to say? Remember that Nico doesn't want to be found. He might have told her not to tell anyone that he's there."

"I know Hazel, and I know she'll do what's best for Nico and let his closest friends help him out." Will shifted uncomfortably at the phrase 'closest friends' and wondered whether that meant that he was considered to be one of Nico's closest friends, or if Annabeth had been excluding him in that line of thought.

He didn't want to get left behind. Will wanted to be there when they found Nico again and brought him home, but he knew it probably wasn't his place, and that Nico had older and closer friends that obviously cared for him. Would Nico really need him there?

But Will couldn't help the feeling. He knew now that being around Percy and Annabeth for too long could make anyone feel lonely, and he didn't think that being confronted by the sight of his crush being happily in love with someone else was going to give Nico the motivation to come home and rejoin them.

But then, there was a strong chance that Nico had left because of Will in the first place, so what did he know?

Maybe that was why Will wanted so strongly to stay and be a part of this. He wanted to show that he hadn't given up on Nico, that one fight didn't mean that he was going to stop being friends with Nico, and that he had someone there for him. Yes, Percy and Annabeth cared about him deeply, and definitely much more than Will, but it would be hard for Nico to see that when he was caught up in how deeply they cared for each other.

"Hazel!" Annabeth's relieved voice broke Will's thoughts. "Can I talk to you for a minute? Sure. Okay." She took a deep breath, and then the words came out in a rush. "Are you at home?" Will tried his hardest to follow the conversation just through Annabeth's responses. "Do you know where Nico is?...What?...What do you mean?...Have you heard from him?" Will started panicking. They'd guessed wrong. Their one stroke of good luck had failed them. What would they do from here? Was there anyone else that Nico had to turn to, or was he truly by himself?

"Wait a minute," Annabeth frowned. "Is he standing right next to you? Can he hear you right now? Is that why you're not answering? Just say yes or no...Oh thank God." Annabeth flashed a thumbs up at the boys, and Will let out a breath that he hadn't even realised he was holding, feeling dizzy with relief. "Percy's here too. And another friend. We're just worried about him. Should we come over to see you?...Ok. Text me the address. See you in a bit, okay?...Yeah...Bye."

Annabeth hung up and clutched the phone to her chest. "He's with Hazel!" She cried out, and Percy cheered. Will couldn't stop the grin that was rising to his face. Actually, scratch that, because it fell away as soon as he remembered the rest of the phone conversation. "Wait a sec...did he not want Hazel to tell us he's there?"

"No. But that's what you expected, right?"

"I suppose." In truth, he had, but he hadn't expected it to hurt this much. Having proof that Nico hadn't wanted to see them and would rather hide out at Hazel's without contacting them at all hurt worse than Will could have imagined.

"But Hazel told us anyway." Percy said.

"I guess she's just as worried as we are. And-" Annabeth broke off when her phone vibrated. "Okay, I have the address. It's not too far away, about a two hour drive. Let's go." Percy got up and followed her with hesitation, but even as willing as he was to find Nico, Will found himself pausing. Was he really about to put his own routine and life aside and spend the next few hours in a car with people he didn't know, to go to find someone that didn't want him, probably end up getting rejected, and then return home for only a few hours before having to go back to class?

Yeah, he was. He stood up and followed the others out, closing the door on the empty apartment behind them.

After two hours of awkwardly sitting in the back of Percy's car listening to the couple sitting in the front and chatting about anything and everything, Will was ready to march up to Hazel's house and refuse to leave until he talked to Nico. He couldn't stand being ignored or shut out any longer. He wondered how Nico felt.

The car had barely stopped moving before he had hopped out of it, walking quickly up the driveway to the doorstep. He only paused for a moment before ringing the doorbell. He heard a set of hurried footsteps, and then the door was wrenched open.

"Hello?" Hazel looked at him confusedly, before seeing Percy and Annabeth behind him. "Oh, you're Nico's friend. The other one Annabeth mentioned."

"My name's Will." Her face lifted in recognition, but she hid it quickly.

"Come inside then." She stepped back to let them through, and they followed her to a lounge room where they sat down. Will found himself examining the room as he had Nico's, looking for how it compared to Nico's house. It definitely felt more homely. The couch was so soft that he sunk into it, and there were bright cushions at his sides. The room was messy, but it was a friendly messy: magazines, coffee cups and books on the tables.

"How is he?" Annabeth asked, and Will was brought back into the moment. Hazel sighed.

"He's stayed in the spare room for most of the time. He's lucky I have a place to myself now. My mother would have interrogated him. As it is, I only asked the bare minimum, and he told me that he'd been fighting with his friends, then he had a big argument with his father and he walked out. That's all he told me. I haven't asked any more for fear that he'd just clam up or walk out on me, but something needs to be done. He's missing out on his classes, and usually he's always so focused and intent on doing well. I don't know what to do."

"Is he here now?" Percy asked, rising from his seat.

"Wait," Annabeth said, grabbing onto his elbow. "Hazel, what do you think would be best for Nico? Do you think he might feel a bit...ambushed?"

"Yeah, I do." Said a familiar voice from behind Will. He whipped his head up as the others stood and rushed towards the voice. "Nico!" Percy cried. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Then why did you leave?" Annabeth questioned, and Will could hear the controlled anger in her voice. "Do you understand how worried we were? You just left without a word, and then didn't answer any of our calls or messages. How could you do that to us?"

"Of course." Nico said flatly. "Think of yourself first, why don't you."

"Nico," Will started, "She's just worried about you. We all are."

Nico froze for a moment. "Will?" He said wonderingly while turning to face him, obviously having only just noticed that he was there. Though Will had spent the day being annoyed that Percy and Annabeth hadn't been paying attention to him or acknowledging his existence, he was more patient with Nico. "Hey," he whispered, and for a moment it was just the two of them, with Will staring at the brief joy that flashed across Nico's face before being wiped away and covered by his mask of moodiness.

"Neeks, just talk to us," Percy interjected, shattering their moment. "We're not leaving until you tell us."

"Then be prepared to stay for a long time. You can sleep on the couches."

"Nico-"

"Just stop it, alright?" Nico actually snarled at Percy. "Leave me alone! Don't you get it! That's what I want! That's how you can help me." Percy flinched, not knowing why Nico was so angry at him personally. With one last glare, Nico stormed off back the way he came.

After he left the room felt too quiet, but for once Percy didn't feel the need to break it. They had come all this way and gone through so much stress only to find that they weren't even wanted. Worse, they still didn't understand the situation. "Hazel," Annabeth started hesitantly, "have you heard from your father while Nico's been here?"

"Yeah. He called a few days after Nico got here." She sighed. "Nico did ask me not to tell anyone he was here, but I had to tell him. He mostly just seemed relieved to know where Nico was so he didn't have to wonder anymore, like he could cross that off his to-do list, but I didn't really expect anything different from him."

Again, the silence was deafening, even worse this time than the last. It wasn't so bad for Percy and Annabeth. They knew Hazel at least somewhat, and understood the relationship between Nico and his father more than Will did. They could handle this. But he needed to get out out of the room. He didn't want to spend any longer thinking about a father that neglected his children.

"Where's the bathroom?" Will asked Hazel.

"Down that way, turn left, then it's the door on the right." She answered pointing towards the doorway Nico had just left through, seeming glad to have something to say. "Do you want me to show you?"

"I'm fine." He replied quickly, standing up and bumping his legs against the coffee table in his haste. As he left, he could hear the others huddling up and whispering to each other, saying what they hadn't been able to with an intruder in the room. Will shrugged it off. He hadn't wanted to be in there anyway. He had a pretty good idea what it was that Nico had argued with his father about, and if his suspicions were right, what Nico needed right now was someone like him, someone that would understand what he was going through.

Will walked further through the house, ignoring Hazel's instructions to the bathroom, instead trying to find Nico's room. He knocked on the doors, and checked inside the rooms looking for him, and eventually he got an answer.

"Go away Percy. Didn't you hear what I said?"

"Nico it's me. Will. Do you want to talk?" For the longest time, there was no answer, and he held his breath. Just as he was trying to decide whether the light-headedness he was feeling was from his nerves or lack of air, the doorknob turned and the door swung inwards. "Come in." Nico muttered and backed away without looking at him. Will followed him inside, shutting the door on the outside world as he did so.


	7. He's more than been there all before

**Chapter 7 – He's more than been there all before**

 **A/N: Ok so here's a really cute chapter that I hope you'll all love. Please let me know what you think :)**

* * *

Nico laid down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, determinedly not looking at Will, who was sitting next to him. The quiet that he grown so accustomed to over the last few days shut up in this very same room was present, but now he felt more at ease. With Will here, he didn't have that panic in the back of his head that maybe what he had done was stupid, or that he had royally fucked up his life. And the fact that Will was here meant that Nico didn't have to spend so much brain effort on worrying about whether Will hated him now or not.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you." Nico told him after some time.

"I know." Will replied, and shot him a smile. That beautiful smile was back again, and Nico, who had spent the last week without any time around Will at all, found himself overwhelmed by it for a moment. He was struck by how much he had missed Will. In just a few short weeks, how he had let Will get so close to him? Somehow, with all the jokes, laughter, smiles, texts, study sessions, and classes that they had shared, Nico had ended up letting himself get attached. But, at least thus far, it didn't seem to be a bad thing.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Will asked, and Nico hesitated. There was a careful balance that he had to keep. He wanted to tell someone what had happened. He couldn't keep it all tucked up inside himself. Nico had learned recently that if he tried doing that, everything would just burst out of him eventually. He trusted Will, he wanted to confide in him, and he didn't want to push Will away again. Nico wanted him to stay. But...

"Not yet." He searched around for something else to say, something to do, because he knew that most people weren't comfortable just sitting with someone in silence the way he was. They would want to do something, to have a purpose with every moment that they spent (the thought alone made Nico feel exhausted) and though in most ways Will had proved that he wasn't like most people, Nico felt something nagging at him saying that he couldn't let Will get bored and give up on him. And besides, there was something that he wanted to show him. There was at least one part of him that Nico felt ready to share.

"Did you ever play this when you were young?" Nico said, reaching out for the Mythomagic deck on his bedside table. Will's eyes lit up in recognition, and he laughed.

"What do you mean, when I was young? Are you suggesting that I should have grown out of this brilliant game by now?"

"Well, do you want to play?"

"What kind of question is that?" He smirked. "I just hope you're ready to lose."

"Like hell."

It turned out, Nico really should have prepared himself for the loss. Will absolutely smashed him. But in any case they were now relaxing around each other and forgetting about what they were really doing there. Nico had even forgot that there were other people in the house until he heard Hazel.

"Percy, you get back here! Leave them alone." She whisper-yelled, obviously not wanting Nico and Will to hear her. They did.

"Do you want to go back out there?" Will asked him, raising an eyebrow. Nico hesitated, suddenly overcome by all the thoughts and insecurities that rushed to the surface of his mind - did Will want to stay? Did he want Nico to say yes? Was he getting bored? Did he want to go home? What were the others wondering about them being in his room for so long? - but he shut them down and put a smirk on his face. "Why? Are you scared that I'm going to make a comeback and whoop your arse at this game? Do you just want to quit while you're ahead?"

"Good play, di Angelo." Will grinned mischievously. "If only you could play the game that well."

"Screw you, Solace." Nico said, but there was none of his usual bite to it.

Another bad hand later, another set of joking remarks exchanged between the two of them, and Nico had been able to talk himself into telling Will a bit more about himself. "I haven't played this game for years."

"Is that why you're so terrible at it?"

"Ha ha ha." Nico put another card down before continuing. "I just meant that I haven't played this since my sister-" he stuttered, fumbling for the right words, "I mean, I always played it with my sister- I only ever- Not Hazel, I mean my other sister-"

"Bianca." Will helped out, and Nico nodded, a lump welling up in his throat at the sound of her name. "The others told me today."

"She bought this deck for me, for my birthday." Nico found himself saying, not even sure why, and then all the details that he hadn't spoken before came pouring out. "Bianca was way taller than me, and always teased me about it, though that just meant when she hugged me she could lift me up. She loved to play hide and seek. She called me ' _fratellino_ ', which means 'little brother' in Italian, or ' _lino_ ' for short. Her favourite colour was green. We...we buried her in a green dress."

And then he was sobbing, and Will had reached out to him and Nico was holding onto him for dear life, and he kept talking, not sure how much of it Will could understand through the tears and sniffling, tears of grief and pain and loss that he hadn't let himself shed since the funeral for his mother and sister. He told Will about his mother too, of how she had always smelled like roses and coffee, and that she had held him as tight and close as Will was holding him now.

Even after the tears slowed, they stayed like that, holding on to each other. Normally in a situation like this Nico would be feeling vulnerable, scared, or freaked out. But this time he didn't have the energy to feel anything other than safe in Will's embrace. "I told my dad I'm gay." He whispered. "I didn't mean to. It just came out. Just like I did, I guess." Nico tried for a laugh, but he coughed and spluttered on the lump in his throat instead.

"Oh, Nico," Will sighed, "did he kick you out?"

"No. But I didn't stay there, not after how he reacted. He was so...disappointed. As though being gay is a failure, like it's the worst possible thing I could be."

"You know it's-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get that, I just...it hurts to hear it from someone so close to you, you know?"

"Yes. I do." Nico pulled back to look him full in the face.

"Will? What is it?"

"I...I never really explained my end of it all did I? Well, there was a reason I was pissed at you for saying I found all of this easy." He fiddled with his hands, twisting them over each other and staring at them instead of at Nico. "It wasn't quite the same thing. I just..." He sighed. "I'm not from the city. I live way out, not too far from here actually. I'm the oldest of three boys. Our dad left when I was young, and I don't really remember him. My mum looked after us all, and then I helped look after the others. It was hard. Mum worked a lot, so she wasn't home much. There was a lot of pressure on us to do really well at school and succeed at everything, but that was just because Mum genuinely wanted the best for us, and wanted to make sure that our home life didn't hold us back in any way. I loved them all, and I was planning on staying there and going to a university closer to home so that I could still live with them and look after them. Help Mum out and everything."

Then his tone of voice changed from nostalgic remembrance to something darker, a tone that Nico himself had used not too long ago. "None of them knew I was gay. They still don't. One day, Mum was called into our high school to talk to the principal about how my two brothers were bullying some kid for being gay. Calling him slurs, throwing him around, roughing him up...and though in front of the principal she scolded them, as soon as they all got home she said that they were free to have their own opinion and exercise their freedom of speech, as long as they didn't let the gays drag them down."

Will echoed the bitter laugh that Nico had given before. "She actually said that. She may have been joking, but does it really matter? My brothers bullied some kid for being the same thing I was, and my mother was willing to turn a blind eye to it. So I changed my plans. Thanks to Mum I had worked hard enough to get into a university in the city. I had planned on giving that up to stay with them, but I couldn't do that any more. I couldn't live with them any more, not knowing what they thought of people like us. I told them that I had chosen the best place for my education, and that I was moving so I could be closer to the uni and wouldn't have to spend hours travelling each day. I found a small apartment in the city to call my own, and in the 6 months since I've only been back to see my family once."

Will sighed, then looked back up at Nico, who could see the unshed tears welling in his clear blue eyes. "So I'm sorry that I got so mad at you the other day for saying that I found it easy. You couldn't have known. I was just tired of hiding so much of myself." He tried for a smirk that wobbled on his face. "I guess I should have taken my own advice to you and told someone about it."

Nico was struck dumb. He never would have imagined what Will had been through. Like him, Will went through a lot of effort into putting up a mask and acting as though things didn't bother him. Will just had the opposite way of going about it. Nico didn't know what to say, but maybe this wasn't a moment when words were needed. It was more important for Will to know that he had heard and was listening. So for once he put aside his uneasiness about physical contact for just a little longer in the name of giving comfort to someone, an act that he was not used to in any way – who would look for comfort in Nico di Angelo? - and reached out a slightly shaking hand to cup Will's face.

"It's okay. I promise." Nico stared deep into Will's eyes, searching for the emotion he was feeling, trying to take whatever sadness he could find there and banish it. He must have helped somewhat, because a hint of Will's beautiful smile was tugging at the corners of his lips. Lips that looked smooth and soft and perfect and-

Nico jerked himself away from Will and stood up. He looked back in time to see a look of hurt flash across Will's face. The expression tugged at his heart strings, and so he held out his hand to him. "Come on. We should probably go tell the others I'm okay." Will took his hand and pulled himself up next to Nico.

"Are you okay?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay. Or, at least, I will be." Nico answered, not entirely believing it, then pulled Will out of the room by the hand. Though he let go before any of the others could see, he stayed by Will's side for the rest of the night. They sat side by side at the table while the five of them had dinner, each checking in with the other from time to time with a glance or a smile to reassure and comfort. They only parted ways at the front door, when Will, along with Percy and Annabeth, promised that he would call him and visit when he could while Nico continued to stay with Hazel.

And as Nico stood at the door and waved goodbye to his friends as they pulled out of the driveway, he thought that yes, maybe he really would be okay.


	8. He's so confused

**Chapter 8 – He's so confused**

 **A/N: Hello! So sorry for the late update. I've had a crazy past few weeks what with going back to school and everything, and the files on my computer were an absolute mess. I was editing a part of this story that I believed to be the next chapter and I was almost done and ready to upload it, but then I realised a WHOLE CHAPTER had gone missing. I had to go searching through so my documents to find it and I'm so glad I did because this is one of the cutest scenes I've ever written. Hope you all enjoy! Can't wait to hear what you think of this :)**

* * *

Over the next week, Nico stayed at Hazel's, but the others kept in touch with him. Percy, Annabeth, and Will all called him to check up on him and keep him in the loop. Luckily, Nico was able to keep up with his classes at the university through the notes and recordings of lectures that were uploaded online each day, so he didn't need his friends to keep track of his classes for him. Instead they just kept him in on their conversations and day-to-day lives and kept him from feeling too lonely and left out.

With all the time spent at Hazel's house without any classes to go to or friends to hang out with, Nico had a lot of time to think. He spent time catching up with Hazel about all the things that had happened in his start at university and all the things that had happened in the weeks since they had seen each other, but she wasn't always there. She had a job, and her own friends, and a boyfriend named Frank that Nico was still yet to meet.

So in the time that Nico spent alone, he thought about his own friends and his own situation. He knew that this arrangement with Hazel wasn't long-term. It was just a brief respite that would soon have to come to an end. But he wasn't sure if he had the guts to return to his father, or even if he _wanted_ to go back to living with him. He had never really been happy there, not since Bianca and his mother had died. But where else did he have to go?

Then there were his friends to think about, specifically Percy and Will. Nico had had a crush on Percy for so long that he could only barely remember what it felt like to not feel pangs of yearning whenever he saw him. But recently those feelings had started to fade to ghosts and memories of the feelings, and even surges of frustration when faced with Percy's cluelessness. It was enough to make him wonder if he even still had that much of a crush on Percy anymore, or if he was just in denial of the fact that he might have a crush on anyone else.

Which brought Nico back to thinking about Will. Right from the moment they had met there had been an underlying feeling of attraction that he had only been able to admit while he had alcohol in his system. He blushed at the memory, especially at the thought that Will remembered it too. In the time since, such feelings had only strengthened, particularly since the day Will had come to find him here.

Nico only allowed himself to realise this one day when his phone rang and he rushed to answer it, only to feel his heart sink with disappointment to see that it was Percy, not Will. Since then, Will had called many times, and each time Nico couldn't stop a smile from spreading across his face. Every time he caught himself doing it, he rolled his eyes and scolded himself for turning into the ever-smiling Will. Which was a pretty counter-productive way of scolding himself, since it usually just made him grin even more.

At first, he took these calls in the living room where was where he happened to be most of the time, just relaxing with Hazel. But after a few days of smirks sent his way he learnt to shut himself up in his room each time he answered his phone. Nico didn't know how much Hazel suspected about exactly why he was unable to keep a smile off his face while talking to Will, and he was too scared to ask.

On one hand, Nico knew that his generation was a lot more accepting of homosexuality. He trusted Hazel as much as someone like him could trust anyone, and he knew that she loved him. But he was afraid that even the strongest bond he had with anyone wouldn't be strong enough to keep her from turning away in disgust. And then he would lose the person that he thought he could depend on the most. He didn't know if he would be able to handle being rejected by Hazel.

It was around this point of thinking that Nico's mind usually returned his father and the memory of the last time he had seen him. When this happened Nico got used to pressing his phone closer to his ear and just letting the sound of Will's voice wash over him and block everything else out.

On the Saturday morning the week after his friends had come to find him, Nico was woken by the ringing of his phone on his bed-side table. Had it been anyone other than Will he would have ignored it and gone back to sleep, but since it was the subject of his affections he just fumbled for it, peering through half-closed eyes, and hit the answer button.

"What?" Nico groaned, but the malice was only half-hearted.

"You sound absolutely dead." Will told him cheerily.

"Thanks, Sunshine." Nico tried to hold on to his grumpy morning self, but he felt it slipping away and dumb sappiness rising to take its place before he was awake enough put his walls up. _Sunshine? Really?_

"No problem." Nico could almost hear his grin through the phone.

"Why are you calling at this ungodly hour?"

"Stop being so dramatic, Death Boy. It's 9 o'clock."

"My point exactly. Why are you calling so early?"

"Come out."

"Oh, gee, thanks for that advice." Nico snorted, his sarcasm returning to him. "I kinda tried that already but-"

"No, you idiot. _Come outside_."

"Now? Are you fucking serious?"

"Please?"

"Will-"

"Would if help if I told you I'm giving you puppy dog eyes right now?"

"Solace-"

"Pretty please?"

Nico groaned, his resolve caving in. "Fine. Be out in a minute, you loser." He said, and then hung up on him. He rolled over in bed, pulling the blankets around him to stay in the warmth for a moment longer, but he couldn't deny the fact that he really did want to get up and see Will. At least, that's what he assumed the phone call meant. He tried to tell himself that that might not be it, and that he shouldn't get his hopes up, but that didn't slow his suddenly increased heart rate.

Nico spent the next few minutes in a panic, trying to tame the tangled mess that was his hair, find an uncrumpled set of clothes, and brush his teeth all at the same time. He raced to the door while still trying to flatten his hair, and almost didn't stop in time to keep from crashing into the door. He wrenched it open and stumbled outside, blinking in the sudden brightness.

"You clean up well for someone that was asleep five minutes ago." Nico whipped his head to the side to find a smirking Will leaning against the side of the house, then quickly turned to the other side to hide his sudden blush. "Was not." Nico shot back. Will checked his phone.

"You're right, actually. It was only _four_ minutes ago that I called you."

"Shut up." Nico turned back to glare at him. Will laughed.

"You missed something." He stepped closer to Nico, pinched his own sleeve, and rubbed it at a spot on Nico's cheek. Nico was extremely aware of how his slightly shaking hand lingered for longer than necessary before dropping back to his side.

Once he had his emotions under control, Nico raised an eyebrow at him. "Toothpaste." Will explained. "So you wiped it on your sleeve?" Nico said, hoping that the way his breath caught wasn't as obvious as it sounded to him. "Gross."

"Would you rather you spent the rest of the day walking around with toothpaste on your face? You're welcome."

"Speaking of the rest of the day," Nico said, "what's the plan? What are you doing here anyway?" Will blinked, as though bringing himself back out of a daze.

"Well, I told you my mum lives around here, right?" Nico nodded. "I thought I'd drive down to spend the weekend with her. It's been too long." Then Will began to talk faster, the words blurring together. "I haven't seen her for ages, and I've putting it off a lot, and also I wanted to see you because I feel like I haven't seen you for a while, which is crazy because I saw you just last week and it's been so much longer than that since I even called my mother, and then I felt so guilty that I haven't come back home for so long, and then I just ended up here, and I-"

"Will, it's okay." Nico interrupted. "Really." Will looked up from his feet, which he had been scuffing on the ground. "Thanks Nico," he said, and Nico found himself treated to another one of Will's handsome smiles, only time it was gentle and tender.

"So what are we doing today?" Nico said, stepping away from Will, rushing to deflect from the moment that was suddenly feeling too intimate.

"I was thinking I could just show you the town I grew up in. I figured you probably haven't seen any of it while you've been here."

"Guilty as charged." Nico felt rising to his face the grin that he always had while talking to Will on the phone, but he didn't do anything to stop it. "Where to first?"

* * *

A few hours later they were at a playground, sitting on a platform by one of the slides. They had been to the book store, the games shop, walked past Will's old high school, then stopped by McDonalds for lunch which they were now devouring.

"It's so weird to be back." Will was sitting at the edge of the platform, swinging his legs over the side and looking across the park, while Nico lounged behind him with a bag of french fries in hand. "I haven't been here for so long...and it's especially weird to be here and not see anyone I know. When I lived here and I went out, I'd always go with friends, or see people I knew around, but I've just lost touch with them. I used to take my siblings here all the time."

Will didn't turn around, but he heard Nico get up and scoot across next to him. "Do you miss them?" Nico asked him, more seriously than Will would have thought possible for someone who had professed his undying love for french fries just five minutes earlier.

"I miss the old days. I miss how we used to get along and muck around together. It's just hard to match up those memories with what they did to that poor boy at school."

"That must suck." Nico said bluntly, and had it been anyone else Will would have been taken aback, but he had gotten used to Nico's straightforwardness. "But you've got to do it. You can't ignore one set of memories in favour of another. And living in denial isn't healthy." Nico's face set into the familiar brooding expression, and Will found himself needing to lighten the mood and cheer Nico up, rather than being the one accepting comfort.

"Not healthy? I'm the med student, di Angelo. You're the one that's addicted to McDonalds."

"I'm not addicted," Nico snorted, rolling his eyes. "You can finish the fries if you want." He added, passing them over.

"Thanks." Will said as he grabbed for the bag. Whether by fate, coincidence or something in the middle, his fingers ended up on top of Nico's in a moment that reminded him so strongly of the time they had first met. His eyes met Nico's, and he saw his own thoughts reflected back in them. Will jerked away from him.

He had been trying to push aside the thoughts that he had had about Nico that first night. He had been unable to stop the pull that he felt towards the mysterious stranger that had all at once seemed like he wanted to join in and like he didn't want to be there at all. Before he could put the feeling into words, Will had found himself flirting with the stranger who he discovered had a very cute frown. At the end of the night, just when he had lost hope that he wouldn't come to find him as Will had dared him to, a slightly more carefree and intoxicated version of Nico had appeared and flirted right back at him, though it had been unintentional on his part.

Will had been attempting to ignore those old thoughts in favour of just getting to know Nico as a friend, especially knowing as he did now how insecure Nico was about his sexuality, and how he was still in the process of getting over his crush on Percy. But it was hard to suppress those feelings in moments like these when it was just the two of them.

"You need to do it." Nico told him, suddenly thoughtful again. "I would do anything to talk to Bianca one last time, but it's not an option. You've still got your siblings, and I'm not trying to guilt you into doing it, but I think you should take a chance on them, and your mum. Go spend the weekend with them. I think you'll regret it more if you don't." Will whistled.

"When did you get so wise?"

"Shut up," Nico grumbled, reaching for the McDonalds bag again.

"I thought you said I could finish these."

"I didn't literally mean you could eat them all. Think of it more as a gesture."

"You mean complete bullshit."

"Will!" Nico groaned, flailing for the bag, but Will held it out of reach.

"You want these?" Will laughed, and started pelting him with the fries.

"Solace I swear-" Nico began angrily, but got cut off when one landed in his mouth. The brief assault quickly turned into a game of how many fries they could land in each other's mouths, cheering wildly whenever they scored, which wasn't very often because they were laughing too hard.

Not long after, the bag was empty and the majority of the chips were littered on the playground equipment surrounding them.

But neither of them minded very much.


	9. And some success

**Chapter 9 – And some success**

 **A/N: Hey all! I could make a huge speech about how school is such an annoying-time suck, but I think everyone knows that already :/ plus I've stayed up pretty late to get this done and I just want to sleep. So how about I just apologise and let you get on with the story? Sorry :(**

 **So this is a relatively short chapter, but a very emotional one. Hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

Another morning at Hazel's place. Another day of Nico sleeping in, lazing around, staying inside, and not doing much at all. As much as he loved relaxing and not having to attend classes all day, he missed the sense of purpose and order in his life. And as much as he loved spending so much time with his sister, she had her own life to live and her own things to do.

Now that he had spent so much time away, Nico kept on finding himself thinking back to the events that he driven him there. He hadn't received any form of contact from his father since he had left, and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. On one hand, it meant that Hades didn't have any more terrible things to say to him. But it could also mean that Hades didn't have anything to say to him, which, though it was what he was used to, felt even worse. Like maybe Hades had written him off and didn't care about where he had gone or what had happened.

The thoughts and the strong contrast between the noise inside his head and the quiet outside of it as Hazel sat across from him, only disturbing the peace by the occasional flip of the newspaper page, manifested itself in Nico fidgeting, his fingers tapping again, clicking on the surface of the table and clinking the spoon in his coffee. He could feel Hazel glancing up at him every few minutes, knowing that she had her usual motherly frown on her face. She knew him well enough to know that whenever he got fidgety it was because he was upset or stressed, but she also knew him well enough to know that if he didn't bring it up himself he wouldn't want to talk about it. And that, ultimately, was what made him speak his thoughts aloud.

"I, um...I should probably talk to you." Nico started, focusing his eyes on the swirling whirlpool he had created in his coffee mug. Hazel laughed.

"Don't make it sound like such a chore. You don't have to if you don't want to." Though at first the words were said jokingly, but the end Hazel had looked up to meet Nico's eyes as sincere as he had ever seen her.

"But I want to." Nico sighed, wondering where to start now that he had opened his mouth. He should have thought further ahead. "I want to tell you about why I'm here, why I left..." he said, still addressing his coffee.

"Nico?" Hazel uncertainly interrupted his daze, pulling him out of his thoughts. She pushed her newspaper away from her and made to move towards him, but instead he grabbed at the paper as a welcome distraction. The first article his eyes fell on made him blink hurriedly to check to see if he was imagining it or not. It was just that it was the thing that was on his mind in that exact moment that he thought he could have been hallucinating it. But he wasn't, and Hazel was still staring at him confusedly.

"Same-sex marriage legalised across America." He read aloud, and he was unable to stop the grin that spread across his face. "That's great, that's...that's...what do you think, Hazel?" Nico returned his attention to his half-sister who was looking him full in the face, as though trying to read his thoughts there, and in that moment he felt as though she could. "I think it's wonderful. I'm in full support of it, and can't wait to see it happen here. Love wins." She gave him a gentle smile.

"Right. Yeah. Of course." Nico felt a lump forming in his throat and had to glance away from her to hide the tears swimming in his eyes. He hadn't prepared himself for how freeing it would feel to know that he would have Hazel's love and support, and it was all hitting him at once.

"I'm...I said-" Nico coughed, trying to clear his throat and get his words out and be understood, but he couldn't get it to happen. Next thing he knew, Hazel was kneeling in front on him, hand on his arm, carefully keeping herself at the distance that he had enforced for years, but offering comfort all the same. "It's okay." She whispered. "You don't have to say it." That was when Nico knew, when he was finally certain, after all of those glances and smirks that Hazel had sent his way whenever he was on the phone or the subject of Will came up, that Hazel knew who and what he was. And that she had been okay with it all along.

And now that he knew she knew and was okay with it, the pressure of having to say the words lifted off his shoulders. "I want to call Dad." Nico said suddenly. It had been weighing on his mind for days, and he had had the thought there the whole time, though he hadn't wanted to admit it to himself. "I don't want to talk to him but I want to leave a message for him. He'll be at work now, so I'll call the home phone and it will just go to voice mail."

"Do want me to go and leave you alone?" Hazel asked, rising to her feet, as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

"Stay with me. Please." His voice broke from the strain of his emotions on the last word, and Hazel nodded, taking the seat next to him.

Encouraged by what had just happened, Nico dialled the number straight away, without pausing second-guessing it. That part came while he was listening to the dial tone and waiting for it to go through to voicemail. It felt like the longest 30 seconds of his life, his fingers itching to hit the bright red circle and put it off for another day, or week, or forever. But the Hazel's presence next to him kept him focused, grounded, in the moment.

"You've called the di Angelo household. Please leave a brief message after the tone and I will call you back as soon as possible." The curt voice that was so familiar and yet so distant winded him for a few moments, and the after the tone there were a few beats of silence as Nico recovered from the shock. "Dad." And as soon as the first word was out, the rest coming flooding after.

"I'm at Hazel's place. I'm fine. I'll come back when I'm ready, but it won't be permanent. I can't live with you any longer. I told you I'm gay," his voice stumbled on that word, but he was getting better at it, and Hazel reached out and squeezed his hand, "and you tore me down for it. I may regret the way that it happened, but I do not regret this part of me. If you can't accept that then I have nothing to say to you anymore. Goodbye." He jabbed a trembling finger at his phone to hang up, the adrenalin pumping through his veins, and he was scared, but also elated. He felt good.

"I'm proud of you Nico." Hazel told him, and squeezed his hand one more time. "So, what's the plan from here?"

"I don't know." Nico answered thoughtfully. "I love you, but I can't stay here forever. I've already been here for too long. I have to get back to uni, I have to get back to living my own life. I just don't know where to start." He sighed. "But I do want to go back into the city, see my friends, maybe check in with my classes, start looking for a place to stay. And I left a lot of stuff back at Dad's place that I need to pick up at some point."

"Good luck with all that."

"Thanks. Thank you so much, Hazel."

* * *

The next day, Nico was at the university, wandering around and looking for his friends. At first he wasn't sure who we wanted to see first, or what he wanted to do. It felt strange to be back after so long. Everything felt so different: the grounds brighter; the voices lighter; the sky clearer. And though it could have just been the changing of the seasons to blame, Nico knew that most of the change had come from within himself. It was he who had opened up and learned to accept the present and things as they really were in that moment, and appreciate the world for what it was.

Not really paying attention to his route, Nico soon found himself outside the library. He stood at the window, staring in absent-mindedly at the students there. He sensed the familiar feeling of being on the outside looking in, but for once it was not just metaphorical but literal as well. And for once it was not just isolating but peaceful. Nico closed his eyes, drawing his focus within himself, absorbing the moment and the pure-

"Hey Nico!" The moment was shattered but Nico held onto that sense of serenity, so when he wheeled around to see Jason stepping out through the library doors he didn't respond with his usual defensiveness. "Jason. What's up?"

"Studying," he gestured back at the building, "saw you standing out here and wanted to come say hi."

"You're that bored, huh?" Nico joked, but without any of his usual bitterness. Jason gave a short laugh.

"I wanted to check up on you. I haven't seen you around since...you know." And with that reminder, Nico clammed up again. He clenched his eyes shut, but this time from wanting to escape the situation rather than appreciate it.

"I haven't told anyone about it. Your sexuality is your business. But I want you to know that I'm okay with it."

"I'm honoured." Nico rolled his eyes, somewhat irritated by Jason's formal manner. Jason took a deep breath.

"And I realise that you're not the most outgoing person and this isn't my place, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here." Nico had the urge to roll his eyes again, but this time out of amusement rather than malice.

"I do have friends to talk to, you know. Not many, but they do exist."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." And now Jason was starting to get flustered, his carefulness slipping away.

"I'm only going to say this once, so listen up: thank you. But I'm fine."

"Oh...right." Jason shifted his feet uncomfortably. "As long as you're talking to someone, right?"

Nico turned away, already done with the conversation. "Yeah. See you around, Jason."

"See you."

Jason headed back into the library and Nico walked off, shaking his head and pulling out his phone as he went. He sent Percy and Annabeth a quick text saying that he wanted to meet up with them, and to meet outside of the university for coffee and a catch up. Nico got responses immediately, showing in their urgency their care for him, and before he knew it it was time to face the music.

Nico heard Percy before he saw him. "NICO!" The voice came tearing though the air, followed soon after a whirlwind of motion. And then his best friends were in front of him, Percy who had never really gotten used to Nico's aversion to being touched and was reaching out for him and then away and trying to pass it off as nervous excitement, and Annabeth had a beautiful smile that looked as though it were about to split her face in two.

"It's so good to see you." She told him, and Nico nodded, gesturing towards the other chairs at his table.

"Thought a catch up was long overdue."

"You reckon?" Percy grinned, and the sight gave a strange tug at his heart. Not the one that he had gotten so used to over the years - the one that came from feeling blessed to be the subject of the gorgeous smile, to want to be subjected to that more, to feel lucky to have Percy Jackson just looking at him even after how long they had been friends. But this time the strange feeling wasn't the one he was used to. Rather it was an anti-feeling, a sense of missing something, the absence of that emotion. It was gone, and all that was left was he memory of it. And that, more than anything , told Nico that he had made the right decision in coming here.

"I thought it was about time that I explained why I left." Nico started shakily.

"Are you coming back? Are you staying?"

"Let him talk, Percy."

"Sorry. Go on." Nico took a deep breath.

"I had an argument with my father. I told him something about myself, and he took it really badly, so I had to get out of town." He looked each of them in the eye and found that this time the skeletal butterflies in his stomach weren't as active. It was getting easier. And these were his best friends, after all. "I told them that I'm gay."

Without letting himself stop and overthink it, Nico added, "And just to clear the air, Percy, for a long time I had a crush on you. I just wanted you to know. But I'm over it now. I'm happy for you guys." Percy's eyes bugged out and his mouth hung open as he processed his words.

"Wait, so-"

"Right. But it's cool. We're cool. I mean, you're cute, but you're not my type."

A silence filled the gap between them. It was probably the longest time that Nico had ever witnessed Percy being quiet for, or maybe the suspense just made it feel that way. "Thanks for telling us Nico." Annabeth said, a sideways smile on her face. "That was brave. Really brave."

"Yeah, what she said." Percy agreed. "Also, when you say 'not your type' what-" Nico groaned.

"I don't want to talk about it. Please stop."

"Gotcha." Another pause.

"We were going to offer, and it's still open to you if you want it, but," Annabeth bit her lip, "I'm guessing you don't want to stay with us for a bit?" Nico laughed.

"No. Thanks for the offer, but no." The thought of spending too much time around the happy couple, even now, almost made him feel sick, and that was when he decided that he had had enough of hard awkward conversations for the day.

"Look, I've got to go now." He lied, getting to his feet. "I'm meeting up with someone-"

"Will?" Percy smirked, the trademark Percy glint returning to his eyes as they got back to an area of conversation that he felt comfortable with: teasing Nico. "Is _he_ your type?"

"Percy no."

"PERCY YES!"

"Bye," Nico rolled his eyes and started to walk off.

"See you, Nico!" Annabeth called out.

"Say hi to Will for us!"

"PERCY JACKSON!" Annabeth and Nico shouted simultaneously, and then burst into uncontrollable laughter, the last of the remaining tension falling away completely. Then, with a light heart and a spring in his step, Nico moved on.


	10. His heart is breaking

**Chapter 10 – His heart is breaking**

 **A/N: Wowza. I was not expecting to be gone for that long either. I just had the craziest busy period of my life, and if I tried to type out all that happened it would no doubt be longer than this chapter, which - partly in apology - is my longest one yet. I've been prioritising my other work so much that I finally had to promise myself that I wouldn't even go to sleep until this was posted, which is why I am now up hella late. Time for bed now! Hope you enjoy :)**

 **ps: I hope you all appreciated all the cute and happy stuff that went down last chapter because this chapter has more than earnt its title. Can't wait to hear what you guys think of this one *evil smile***

* * *

Looking for Will hadn't been the plan. Nico had just said that he was going to see someone as an excuse to get out of there, but now that the idea of going to see Will had been planted in his mind he couldn't get rid of it. And if he had to be honest, it had already been weighing on him. He tried to tell himself that it was only because it would be a shame if he came all the way into the city and didn't see Will to catch up on any chemistry notes that he may have missed, but that was a load of bullshit. Truthfully, he had had a draining day and he wanted someone to relax with. Someone that he didn't have to be on guard with, or hide anything from. And Will was the first person that popped into his head when he thought of that.

Nico forced himself to not spend too much time questioning that reasoning and instead went searching for Will. A quick check of his timetable told Nico that his chemistry class with Will was running at the moment, so he made his way over to the usual lecture theatre. His intention had been to walk in, no matter how late he was, paying no mind to the fact that he hadn't been to a class in three weeks, and sit down in his regular seat next to Will. Even though he didn't have any of his books, or his laptop, or even a pen and paper to take notes down on, Nico had a sudden urge to go to his class and spend the next hour being completely lost and confused, as long as he could be lost and confused next to Will. As long as he could spend the next hour in his company, firing jokes and insults at each other, teasing each other, being on the receiving end of one of those beautiful Will Solace smiles, or just being in Will's company in general.

That was how Nico knew he was in deep. He had been a loner, an outsider, an introvert for his whole life, and here he was, practically sprinting just so he could get to class that little bit quicker and listen to some professor drone on and on about something he wouldn't understand just to be with Will.

As his arms were swinging and his legs were pounding against the ground and his heart was racing for more than one reason, the thought popped into his head that maybe this was a bad thing. Having a crush hadn't gone so well for him last time. Crushing on Percy had had him feeling absolutely crushed. But this was different, and Nico couldn't explain, not even to himself, why that was, but he knew it was true. Will wasn't like Percy.

All this movement and thinking came to a sudden halt when Nico reached the doorway of his classroom. He pulled it open, and strode forward to his empty seat next to Will...but it didn't exist. Or rather, there was a seat there, but it just wasn't empty. Instead it was filled with a boy that was animatedly engrossed in conversation with Will, and he had him laughing in the way that Nico had grown to hope to think of lately as a laugh that only he could evoke in Will. As though Will was as alone as Nico, and Nico was the only one that he found worthy of bestowing with such joy. But unlike Nico's, Will's world was huge. A guy like him must have so many friends, friends other than Nico that he had barely bothered to ask or even think about. Friends that he hadn't even considered would exist, even though that was ridiculous.

That's what being around Will was like for Nico. It made him feel like he was the only one that Will cared about. Like he was special, which was a feeling that Nico didn't get very often. Nico had thought that maybe Will felt that same way, that there was a special connection between them. But maybe that's just how it was with Will. He loved deeply, and he loved everyone, in such a big way that he made them all feel on top of the world. And that was a great thing - one of that qualities that Nico admired most in Will - but he hated it right now for unintentionally leading him on. Because while Nico had thought he was special in Will's eyes, here was Will caught up in someone else the way he was around Nico, unaware of his sudden arrival, even as every single other person in the room – including the lecturer – turned around to gawk at Nico. All the courage that Nico had had mere moments ago vanished, and soon enough he was in the corridor again, tittering laughs and catcalls following him out until being cut off by the door swinging shut behind him.

Now this. This felt like crushing on Percy.

The hallway was silent, Nico being the only one in it, and he dragged his feet on the floor as he walked away, painting a stark contrast to his arrival. He barely had time to wonder what he was going to do next, before he was haunted by the sounds of the laughter that had followed him out of the lecture theatre resurfacing. God, he had enough thoughts to deal with without being haunted by shitty memories. Though if his brain as going to chuck bad memories at him it had a lot to choose from and he should probably be grateful that it wasn't something worse than being laughed at.

"Nico!" Such as the sound of Will's voice. Of course. He had to be reminded of that right now. The sound of Will calling out to him as he always had, like he cared and was excited to talk to him. "Wait up!" Confused, Nico turned around, and blushed as he realised what had happened. "Hi Will," he said, trying to act casual, and mentally scolded himself for thinking that he had imagined the noises of the class following him again, which must have happened when Will opened the door, and then imagined Will's voice calling out to him. Good to know that he wasn't that far gone. Yet.

"What's up? What are you doing here?" Will asked, falling into step beside Nico, who froze.

"Why did you leave? You have class." Nico told him.

"Hasn't stopped _you_ for the last few weeks, has it?" Will shrugged.

"But you never skip class."

"So I guess it's about time, huh?" Nico knew that there was more to it, that Will never skipped class, and he might have let himself hope what this could mean if he had been in a better mood. Say, the mood he had before he realised that Will was a treasure that probably treated everyone like they were important enough to skip class for.

"So, again, what are you doing? You're not coming back for classes, are you? Because if you are, it's right back there." Will pointed over his shoulder with a smirk. "I promise you didn't just relive your first week and walk into the wrong class."

"I told you not to tease me for that!" Nico protested, playing for the time to come up with a plausible excuse. "I, um, I was thinking about coming in to class, but I changed my mind. That's all." And it was true enough. It was just omitting the part where he explained what had changed his mind.

"Aww. Damn it. I thought you were coming to see my beautiful face." Will elbowed him in the ribs, and Nico stumbled sideways, caught off guard.

"Shut up."

"Or maybe you were planning all along for me to come out after you. You know, you could have just texted. You didn't need to be so dramatic-"

"I didn't ask, all right?" Nico exploded. This was what he had been waiting for. He had been on edge recently, still emotionally wound up from the call to his father that morning, and the meeting with Percy and Annabeth, and his realisation just now with Will. He needed someone to take it all out on. "I didn't fucking ask you for help in any way! I walked in the classroom, went to take my seat and sit next to you, but there was someone else there and I didn't want to sit anywhere else. I didn't want to sit next to some random and have to put up with them for the whole lesson, so I just left. That's all. I didn't ask you to leave your brilliantly entertaining conversation to come chasing after me and interrogate me! So just leave me alone."

Nico started off away from Will, but dragging his feet this time, leaving with a heavy heart. He knew Will didn't deserve it, but he couldn't help himself. He had bottled his emotions and kept them inside for so long that he had a terrible handle on them. Once he let out a few he couldn't stop and now it was way out of his control and he needed let off some steam. But maybe it was better that he pushed Will away now and just went back to the way things used to be. It would be safer, easier, if they stopped hanging out, even though that was the last thing he wanted to happen.

"Hey, hey, hey," Will said softly, coming around to face him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to piss you off. What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?" And the fact that Will couldn't be fooled, that Nico couldn't push him away even if he tried, that Will was just so genuine in his concern, had Nico wanting to actually have an open and honest conversation for once. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."

A few minutes later they were sitting in Nico's car. At first the plan had been to drive off somewhere, to a cafe or something, but now that they were here, Nico couldn't summon the motivation to focus on driving and finding a place to hang out. Instead, he sat in the front seat, fiddling with the keys in his hands, with Will in the passenger seat next to him, and talked.

Nico talked about a lot of things. He talked about the message he had left for his father that morning, and how much it had scared him. How tempted he was to race back home and delete it off the phone, knowing that his father wouldn't have listened to it yet, that he would be able to do it, and also knowing that he had to let it happen, that it was something his father needed to hear. He told Will about his meeting with Percy and Annabeth, about how he had come out to them, and confessed his old crush on Percy. He told Will about how those old feelings still lingered somewhat, and he hoped they would leave soon. About how he was scared that this would change things between the three of them, and that they would have a more difficult relationship now, that maybe Percy wouldn't be as comfortable around him.

Nico stopped just short of confessing to Will his feelings for him. He wanted to have more time to himself to think all of that through. He hadn't decided what he was going to do about that, or if he was even going to do anything. When he had had a crush on Percy there had never been any hope of having his feelings reciprocated. Percy was the poster boy for a straight guy, he was in a strong relationship, and besides - he was Percy Jackson. He would never go for Nico di Angelo. Not in a million years.

With Will there was slightly more hope, what with knowing that he was also gay, but that was about where it stopped. Will could do so much better than someone like him. He could barely even understand why Will even wanted to be his friend. Nico just had to resign himself to being Will's friend. That would be more than good enough for him. He was lucky to have a friend like Will. He couldn't risk screwing it up on something as small as a crush. He would get over it eventually.

So he let his voice peter out and turned to Will uncertainly, waiting for his reaction. "It's okay." Will coughed, and pulled a face. "This too shall pass," he said in a deep voice.

"What-" Nico frowned at him, trying to figure out what was going on. "Will-"

"MY NAME IS GANDALF THE GREY!"

"You fucking nerd!" Nico laughed. "Lord of the Rings? Really?" But he was laughing too hard to be to angry.

"Hey, you recognised it, so you are at least kind of nerdy."

"Am not!"

"I am the Master of Mythomagic." Will declared, imitating Nico this time, whipping his head to stare out of the car window. "And I'm so brooding and alone, but at least that gives me time to practise my art. No one can ever beat me! I am the all-knower of mythology!"

"Shut up!" Nico groaned, and Will snorted, returning back to his own voice.

"But in all seriousness, you'll get through it. Just give it time." Nico nodded, and they lapsed into silence once more.

"So how's it going with your family? Have you been seeing them?" Nico asked, to shift the focus away from him.

"It's going ok," Will sighed, "but I still haven't told them that I'm, you know, gay. I was going to, but..."

"Yeah. Yeah I get it."

"I'll do it." Will said, sitting up straight in his seat.

"I know."

"I mean, I'll do it now."

"What?" Nico cocked his head. "Now? Are you sure? How-"

"You're going back to Hazel's now, aren't you?" Nico nodded. "Well could you give me a lift out there? And then stay there for the weekend and then I'll find whatever way of getting back here, or I could-"

"Sure. And I can bring you back here too, afterwards." Nico exhaled steadily, finding himself coming to a sudden conclusion that had been weighing on his mind for days, just as Will had. "I want to go back to my dad's place and pick some stuff up, so we could drive back in a few days, and then could you go with me? Just in case he's there. I don't want to go alone."

"Of course."

Nico pulled the seat belt across himself as Will did the same, put the keys that he was still fiddling with into the ignition and started up the car. "Are you sure you want to go right now? You don't want to go back by your place first?" Not that Nico knew where Will lived, but maybe this would give him a reason to find out, a reason to see the place that Will called home.

"Just drive." Will said, shutting his eyes. "Please. Before I change my mind." Nico gave a silent nod that Will couldn't see, and then pulled out of the university car park.

Almost two hours later they were approaching their destination, and after spending most of the time in a comfortable easily slow conversation about music and university and people and nothing at all, they returned to the troubling topic that had been hanging over them for the duration: family. "So how has it been with your mum?" Nico asked gently. Will sighed, and turned down the volume of the upbeat pop music that he had convinced Nico to reluctantly let him listen to. Nico would have felt relieved for the sudden absence of the terrible racket if not for the reason of it going.

"It's been alright. Kinda feels just like old times. The others still live there, still going to school. Maybe still bullying other gay kids." Will's voice took on a hard edge, but he continued on. "It just feels a bit...wrong. Like it might still be the same there, but I'm not. I feel like I've been living a completely different life to the one I had when I was living with them. I always felt restrained never fully comfortable and in the time since, I've grown into my real self. And it feels so much better, but I also feel guilty for feeling better of without them. They're my family, and so I know I shouldn't feel that way, but I do and I can't help it. So living with them feels like I'm erasing all the progress I've made while I've been apart from them. I've gone back to holding my tongue and keeping my head down And the whole time they don't know what's going on because they don't even know that there's a new part of me that I'm hiding. They're just happy to have their old Will back, the one that they miss, the one they knew from before I left, but he doesn't exist anymore, and I don't know how to tell them that."

When Will finished, the silence that was left was heavy, and Nico was almost glad for the faint pop track to focus on. Because he didn't know what to say. He had no idea how to comfort people. Nico was no good around people, no matter how much better he felt around Will. So instead he decided to focus on how to comfort Will. Not people. Just Will as an individual.

"Just take it slowly." He said, trying to search for the words and notions of advice that Will had given to him. "Take it slowly and try to...judge it as you go? Talk to them?" He broke off as he saw a smile curling at the corner of Will's lips. "What?" He said defensively.

"You're terrible at this."

"Solace I swear-"

"But I appreciate the thought." Will continued, turning to face him, and the smile in his eyes was so brilliant that Nico almost forgot to keep his glances away from the road brief, and was tempted to never look away. But then he came back to his senses and focused his attention back to driving and not getting them both killed from his lack of paying attention. "Thanks." He muttered.

Soon enough, they were in the right neighbourhood, and Will started giving him directions to his mother's place, so they could no longer keep up a conversation. Once they had parked outside the front, Will took a shaky breath and blurted out "I think I'm going to tell her tonight." Nico, in true form, didn't know how to respond, leaving Will to continue on. "Hey, do you want to come in and meet my mother? I've told her a lot about you, and I'm sure she'd like to meet you, and-"

"Will," Nico interrupted, recognising the signs of Will rambling whenever he got nervous or stressed, but Will rolled on.

"-and also she was worried about how you are getting your work done, and honestly I am too. How are you going to keep up? There's only so much you can do online. There's going to be practical lab sessions coming up soon, you've already missed out on enough of those, and soon it will be exams." Will stopped to take a shuddering breath, and Nico hoped that maybe he was done, but kept his mouth shut because he knew that this was Will's stress release. Will done the same for him and put up with Nico's version of that before, enduring his rants and personal attack on him with the patience of a saint. But then Will continued on, and almost instantly Nico wished he hadn't. "And I was thinking, because I have my own place close to uni, and I live by myself, maybe you could move in with me? Like, I have a spare room, and sometimes it does get lonely, and I wanna help you out. I mean, if you want to, but-"

"Stop talking."

And that finally worked, the 'stop talking' sounding so different to the many times that Nico had playfully told him to 'shut up'. In the sudden quiet, Nico could hear his own heartbeat and the air rushing in and out of his nose in sudden shallow breaths, could feel the blood boiling under his skin and the panic rising up in his throat. It was too hot in this car and he needed to get away, needed to get away from Will Solace and his empty promises right now before Will could say any more things that he didn't mean. "Don't say that."

"Nico I want to help-"

"You don't just ask someone to move in with you!"

"How was I supposed to ask?" Nico groaned in frustration.

"You don't, okay? You don't say shit you don't mean. You don't grasp at straws and look for any excuse to put off seeing your own mother. Suck it up. Stop being such a coward. Just get out of my car already."

"How dare you." Will's voice was dark and deep and cutting, and Nico realised that he had never seen Will get angry before, or at least not like this before. It wasn't an emotion that Nico would previously have thought the usually sunny young man was even capable of. But here he was, having just pushed the most cheerful person in the world over the edge and having to watch them transform. "How dare you say that to me. You know what this feels like, you're going through exactly the same thing and I have helped you every step of the way. You haven't seen your father for weeks and you're telling me to suck it up and stop being such a coward?"

"You didn't see your family for months," Nico couldn't stop himself from muttering under his breath, and if Will heard him he didn't show it, because he went on.

"But I haven't said anything. I haven't pushed you into anything, because I know that you need space and time. Hell, I offered you a place to stay so you could go to uni and not have to go back to living with him. And I meant it, okay? I wasn't just rambling on and on. I've been meaning to ask you for a while now. And the offer's still on the table if you're willing apologise and get over yourself."

Nico stayed silent, staring out ahead of him through the windshield, refusing to look across to Will. He knew that if he did, he would crack, and say something stupid like 'I'm sorry' or 'yes, of course I'll move in with you' or even 'I love you'. Whether or not Will genuinely meant his invitation wasn't something that Nico could afford to dwell on. He had to stay strong. He didn't want to end up in another situation like with Percy, where he spent so much time in such close quarters with someone he liked yet could never have. Because for all of the connection that Nico had thought they had, it was obvious to him now that that was how Will treated everyone. And how could Nico have thought before that Will liked him back? They were completely different people. Will was all sunny, cheery, full of smiles and nerdiness. Nico was darkness, pessimism, scowls and spite. They were complete opposites. And Nico needed to squash the part of him that said maybe those differences didn't matter. He couldn't let himself hope.

Nico had spent too long thinking and not responding, and in that time Will must have gotten tired of waiting and considered the silence to be an answer in itself. He sighed, undid his seat belt, opened the door, got out, all without looking back at Nico, then turned around to shut-

"Wait." Nico heard the word, barely connecting the sound to the fact that he had said it, hearing it as though it came from outside of him, still staring straight ahead. Just barely, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Will halt his movement. Nico searched for the words that he had been meaning to say, but he hadn't thought this far ahead, hadn't thought at all, had just known that he couldn't let Will walk away from him and end this moment on such a low note. He knew what Will wanted him to say, but he couldn't bring himself to do so.

"Good luck." He said instead, hoping that it was enough to placate Will and stop him from being so angry. All that happened was that Will shut the door a bit less louder than he may have otherwise. Nico watched him walk up the driveway and did nothing further to stop him. Just watched him give up, leave, and escape. Nico knew that feeling so intimately, but he felt a sharp pang deep in his gut for bringing that upon someone else. With a soft sigh and a heavy heart, he started the car and made his own escape.

* * *

At some point, Will had begun to think of the house in front of him as as his mother's home. Not his own home, or his old house, but his mother's home. And so stepping through the front door didn't feel like coming home, especially when he no longer had his own set of keys and had to grab the spare from under the doormat. The other times that Will had come to visit over the last few weeks he had rung the doorbell and waited for someone to let him in, but this time he didn't to stay outside any longer than he had to. He had to get away from Nico. He needed some space, both physical and mental.

Will threw himself into greeting his mother and siblings with a bit too much forced enthusiasm. He half-wanted one of them to realise that something was wrong, to call him out on his so-wide-it-hurt grin, or his laugh that was too loud and too hollow and too often. After a few minutes however, Will realised that this behaviour was what his family had come expect from him. This was the personality that he had shown around them for the last few years. Why should they think there was something wrong?

But Will still felt wrong. He had changed so much in the time that they had been apart. He had changed from a boy that was timid, dependent, unsure of himself and his capabilities, to a man that had now learnt so much about what he was able to do and was now living on his own and on his own terms. Will was working hard enough at both at school and his job that he was paying his own rent and bills, building up his savings, and excelling in his classes. These experiences had made him grow and change shape and now the space that had left behind when he moved out no longer fit him. Trying to force himself back into his just pulled and tugged at his edges.

But what Will was most worried about was the possibility that in spending time back in his mother's house, he could go back to the person that he used to be. Maybe the ordeal would file him down at the edges, turn him back into his old shape and force him to fit. Maybe he would go back to being someone that always looked to his mother for guidance, someone that needed confirmation and validation to get on in life. He could see it happening. Listening to his mother each night. Being roped into helping his siblings with homework, then rides to school, then errands. Then Will would run into people in town, people that he used to know but also hadn't bothered to keep in touch with. And maybe in re-meeting them and reconnecting with this town, Will would again feel the pressure to be the person that he hadn't been in ages. He shuddered at the thought. He never wanted to go back to that.

So Will had to stop that from happening. He could stop these visits and go back to his life in the city, making excuses not to see them and pushing down his guilt. Or he could be brave and put his heart on the line and open up about all these thoughts. Tell his mother who he really was.

He breezed through the next few hours, feeling them spinning away from him out of control. Time flowed differently to how it normally did. It passed in stretches and bursts, long moments dragging on for ages like the silence at the dinner table after Michael asked him if he had a girlfriend, and then other periods vanishing before he could keep up, like the time spent next to Lee at the kitchen sink, doing the dishes and flicking each other with water and soap as they always had.

Will's brothers slipped away to their respective rooms afterwards, leaving Will sitting in the lounge room with his mother, as had happened the last few times he had stayed for dinner. She reached for the TV remote to turn it on, but this time around Will stopped her. "Wait, Mum," he said, feeling his heart beating in his throat. He knew, could somehow feel in his bones in a way that he couldn't describe, that this was the moment. He hadn't put too much thought into what her reaction would be, telling himself not to focus on that which he could not control, instead thinking only about what he would say.

Except now that this moment had finally come around, Will had forgotten everything that he had been planning on saying. All the carefully constructed sentences that he had been built up over the years whenever he pictured himself in this moment had left him, and in its place was the memory of him sitting in the car on the way home from the principal's office, listening to her warning him and his brothers about how 'the gays' would ruin them.

"I have something to tell you." But there was no way he was backing out of it now. Because now there was another memory in his mind, that of Nico telling him that he was a coward. Though he had tried to not take it to heart, it's hard to ignore it when people speak thoughts that are already in your own mind. "Something important."

"Of course." She smiled at him, and he was struck dumb for a moment by the oh so familiar smile that she, his siblings, and himself all shared. Her huge dimples were out and her crow's feet were crinkling at the corners of her twinkling eyes. With the sight came a pang of nostalgia for the old times when they had been a tight-knit family, and also a reminder of how she was his mother and had always been there for him. She loved him. That would be all he needed for this to go smoothly. He would be fine.

"So, is it good news or bad news?" She asked, raising an eyebrow and one side of her mouth in a smirk, confident in her mind that his answer would be the former. Will coughed to clear his throat that was suddenly tight and blocked.

"Well, it depends, really. I mean, I think it's good, and I hope you do too-"

"Did you get engaged to someone without taking her home to your mother first?"

"No, I-"

"Did you knock someone up?"

"Mum! I need you to be serious!" He cried, and she laughed.

"Just teasing, William. Gosh, you're so easy to stir up." She reached out and ruffled his hair, before smoothing it over again softly. "You know there's nothing you could say that could make me stop loving you. I'm your mother."

Will sighed, and the last piece of resistance that had been left in him melted. All of a sudden the words were back again, almost the way that he had planned them, except he hadn't accounted for the fact that he would be so emotional. "I want to tell you why I moved so far away and haven't been to see you. I know I kept on telling you that it was to go to a good university, to get the best education possible, and it was because of all of that that I was too busy to come home and visit. And that was true, but it wasn't that simple. It wasn't so much about where I was moving, but what I was moving away from."

He hesitated then, waiting for her to interrupt. The whole time he had kept eye contact with her to gauge her response, unable to look away. But she stayed silent, and nodded at him, wordlessly telling him to continue.

"I'm not quite who you think I am. I'm not your perfect son who is your ideal role model of someone who will take the normal path in life." Will took a deep shuddering breath, committing himself to the idea that that very same breath, on its way out of him, would take his secret out of him and deliver it to his mother. He kept that visualisation in his mind and focused on that instead of the words he was saying.

"I'm gay." The breath carried out those two words with a quiet that understated their importance. Though Will had been expecting he would want to undo it and breath them back in, those feelings of regret didn't hit him. He got the sense that they wouldn't no matter how she reacted. "William," she sighed, and he froze in anticipation, "thank you for telling me how you feel. It must have been hard on you. Are you scared? Confused?"

"A bit, but-" Will started, wanting to say that he agreed on the first count but didn't like the connotations of the second one, but she continued before he could elaborate.

"Now I understood when you said you wanted to move out and live in the city on your own. You're a young man now and you need your independence and your own space. I trusted that it was your own decision and your own life, and you said that's what you needed. But now I'm worried that maybe it was too rash, and you're still too young to handle being on you own. Maybe moving away from home was too big of a change for you."

"Yes," Will said, starting to panic now even though his mother's tone was still calm and soft. Somehow that was harder to handle than if she had started yelling. "I have changed, but-"

"And that's okay. You're growing, and trying to find yourself - or whatever you young people want to call it these days. You meet new people, start experimenting, trying new things. I know that I did some things when I was your age. Did you know I used to smoke? Tried weed once, too."

"Mum, are you really comparing me liking boys to you getting high?"

"What I'm trying to say is that you're still young. You're trying to figure out who you are and you're bound to make some mistakes along the way, and this is one of them. You know what my thoughts are on the whole gay business. And I know that you're better than this." His mother paused, then added more quietly, her voice weighed down with guilt, "I don't know why this happened." Even though Will was horrified by the words that were coming out of her mouth, his heart broke a little from watching his mother break down. "Maybe it was my fault. Your father left, and I didn't really date anyone after him. You grew up without a father figure. Maybe that's why you're so..."

"Wrong?" Will finished, his voice shaking with barely contained emotion. "Different? Abnormal?"

"No, honey," she corrected him, tears glistening in her eyes. "You're not like that. You're not one of them. It's just a phase. You'll find the right girl and fall in love with her. You'll be okay. You don't have to be scared, I promise."

She opened her arms towards him, trying to hold him close, but Will recoiled. Yelling and anger would definitely have been easier to deal with. Not this pity and belief that it was something that Will hated himself for. As though being gay was inferior, something that he should want to shun and deny. That was what he too had once believed from living and growing up with her. They were the thoughts that he had absorbed and held himself too, though fortunately the time separate from her had allowed himself discard them. But this short time in her company, back in his old home and town, he could see himself going back to hating himself, hoping that he would grow out of it, and wishing that he was actually just confused. Will had thought that the worst thing that could happen was that his mother would stop loving him, but this was harder. Though in a subtle way, it managed to cut deeper.

"Mum. Stop talking. Listen to me." She flinched and her arms sank, obviously surprised by his sudden sharp tone.

"I am." She frowned, and she reached out for him once more, before frowning and dropping her hands into her lap. "I'm trying to help."

"But you're not, okay? Don't talk to me like that. This is who I am." Will was sick of pleading and trying to get through to her calmly. It obviously wasn't working. He leapt up off of the couch and stood in front of her. "I'm not scared of being gay. I've accepted it. I love me for who I am, and if you're not going to do the same, at least don't take that away from me."

"I do love you!"

"But not all of me!" He turned away from her and started pacing, back and forth, needing to move. "You want to pick and choose which parts of me you love and tell yourself that this part of me isn't real. You're invalidating this piece of me and telling me to shut it off. That's not love, Mum. That's bullshit." He reached the end of his walking path, and instead of doing another about face and continuing to pace, he threw a hard look at her and headed for the door.

"Will? Where are you going? William! You don't have to leave!" And now she was up and off the couch, chasing after him, her tears finally spilling over.

"Yes. Yes I do." He wrenched open the front door and walked out before he could start crying too. His steps became faster and faster until he was sprinting down the street, trying to get away from his thoughts, but mostly trying to escape the influence of the suffocating memories and emotions that had always hung over the place he used to call home.


	11. He dreams he's knocking on his door

**Chapter 11 – He dreams he's knocking on his door**

 **A/N: It's been so long I feel like I need to introduce myself again. Hi! My name is Tara. I'm a fanfiction writer, a year 11 student, and a massive procrastinator. Evidently, this is not a good combination.**

 **Sorry :(**

 **A major factor in this HUGE delay was that this chapter was supposed to be the last one, but I just kept thinking of more and more things I wanted to write into it. Next thing I know, I have a monster document of 15k+ words that hadn't reached the end of the story. Cue weeks of frustration as I try to sort that mess out while not failing school. The result: this chapter, plus another 2 or 3 to go that will (hopefully) be uploaded in the soon(ish) future.**

 **Thanks everyone for your patience :) This is one of my favourite chapters that I have written so far, so I hope you all enjoy, and please let me know what you think!**

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Nico had always been a night owl. The polar opposite of him in this respect, Hazel had gone to bed at around 10pm soon after a dinner date with Frank, who - in true gentleman's form - had dropped her off at the doorstep with no more than a chaste peck and a friendly if somewhat timid smile to Nico, who was waiting there to greet them. Frank was starting to grow on him. Though he may look big and intimidating, going off the few times they had met and Hazel's descriptions of him, Frank seemed to be more like a giant teddy bear. Emphasis on giant.

Nico had spent the hours since lying in bed, simply staring at the ceiling, not even trying to sleep. It would be pointless anyway. Though he usually found this practice to be almost meditative, and could spend hours in this exact position without even noticing, this night his mind was filled with thoughts and he was sick of trying to get rid of them. So he decided to allow himself to wallow.

Over these hours, he had come to a few conclusions. One: whomever was responsible for the paint job in this room obviously either had no skill or took no pride in their work. Two: Though he was used to being alone, he hadn't felt this alone in quite a while. Hadn't felt the absence of someone so strongly, or seen it as this important to know that he could reach out at any point and they would be listening. Three: His habit of pushing people away had never once benefited him. And yet he was so inclined to do it because, Four: Nico was scared of being close to people. It was a big risk to take, and he couldn't believe that he was lucky enough to have in his life people that wouldn't make it regret it. And that belief caused him to lash out at Will, even though Five: he really liked Will, a lot, and was currently beating himself up internally for being such an arse.

Because that's was he was. Nico had lashed out at Will in the crudest way possible. No amount of inexperience in the area of friendship could excuse what he had done. He was a terrible friend and he needed to do better. He needed to _be_ better.

Nico was just scared, so scared that it could all come crashing down. He thought he had been ready to trust Will, ready to commit to at least a close friendship if not a relationship, but he had not been expecting this. He wasn't prepared to be in a situation where he had to depend on someone else to such a great extent. Moving in with Will would be a big deal. It would mean freedom from his father, independence, a chance to live his life on his own terms. Spelled out like that, it was almost too much to handle. Nico was scared of what he could become, of who he could become. Existing in his father's shadow was all he had known for years and year. Simply knowing Will for the past few months had already changed his life so much to a point where he only just recognised himself. How much could _living_ with Will change him?

It would also put him at Will's mercy. It would mean that Will would see all of Nico's darker sides. What if this extended amount of time around Nico made Will see something he wasn't prepared to? What if it made him realise that the real Nico, the one that would laze around in pj's all day and watch reality tv if he wasn't forced to have anything else to do, the one that would retreat from the outside world and create his own, the one that still maintained a bitter outlook on almost everything around him, wasn't worth getting involved with? What if it made Will give up on him?

He didn't need to worry about it though. There wasn't a real possibility that they would actually live together. Will just hadn't thought deeply enough about what he was offering. But Nico shouldn't have lashed out at him for doing so. It was just a mistake. And Nico was going to apologise for that.

He turned his head to the side to look at his phone where it sat on the bedside table. He had done so already several times, staring at it and wondering whether he should text or call or what he should say to Will if he did. Each time, he decided instead on what he deemed to be the safest course of action: nothing. Nico used every ounce of his self-control to not pick up the phone, even when it buzzed with incoming texts. He didn't even check the screen to see who it was. He was content to just take some time for himself. He would sort it out later.

He was finally drifting off to a restless doze when a sudden noise interrupted the silence that he had grown accustomed to. At first, his sleepy brain interpreted it as rain, but at the sound went on he realised that it was only coming from one direction, and was happening rhythmically, and was louder and heavier than even the worst storm. These pieces slowly fitted together in his mind to form the unfamiliar situation of someone knocking on the front door. His first reaction was to ignore it and fall asleep, but the past hours had made him restless. He was filled with a sudden desire to get up and do something, even if it was just to walk to the door and tell whoever was there to shut the hell up and go away.

A handful of seconds later, having dragged himself out of bed and made it to the door, which he prompting swung open, he was faced with the realisation that he had not prepared well enough for this. Because the only option of action that he had thought of taking was how the hell to get rid of the person as quick as possible. He hadn't taken into consideration that he might be getting himself into a lot more trouble than that. He hadn't thought that this might force him to now face all the thoughts that he had been wallowing in all night.

"Hello," Will said, his face blank, peering through the security screen to try to see who was standing on the other side. Nico hesitated to answer. Will was likely still angry at him. Would hearing Nico's voice come as a disappointment? Had he come here seeking Hazel? If that was the case, Nico didn't want to have the see the sadness that would take over Will's face when he realised who he was really talking to.

"Hey, Will," he answered, deciding that he had wasted enough time lost in thought for the night. Contrary to what Nico had been scared of seeing, Will didn't turn away in disappointment. Instead, the walls guarding his facial expressions came crashing down and Nico saw fragments of countless emotions. Regret. Fear. Relief. Sadness. Anger.

The two stood frozen for a moment, neither one wanting to bring up the circumstances of their last meeting, but both thinking of it. For once, Nico was the first to make a move. "Do you want to come inside?" He asked, grateful for the fact that Will couldn't see his face and the nervousness that he knew was clearly shown there.

"Yes. Of course. Thanks." Nico swung open the screen door to let him in and noticed for the first time the pitch black sky. Not a trace of sunlight was to be seen. Only now did he realise how strange it was for Will to be coming around at such a late hour.

He stepped aside as Will walked through. He lead the way into the living room, unsure as to was social manners dictated he was supposed to do here. He wasn't used to having guests over. In fact he couldn't remember the last time it happened, apart from when Percy, Annabeth, and Will had arrived here uninvited. But that time, Hazel was around to do the talking and sorting out of what was happening, to serve dinner, to drive conversation, to direct the night. He certainly had never had people over at his father's place. So for now he just did was he thought made sense and hoped for the best. It was only Will, right?

Nico took a seat on the sofa in the living room, gesturing for Will to do the same. He wasn't sure whether he should be relieved or disappointed that Will didn't sit down right next to him, instead choosing the adjacent armchair. He tried to relax, but in the atmosphere that was tenser than he was used to sharing with Will it didn't quite work. He turned a questioning gaze towards Will, trying to read what was going on in his head. Unfortunately, it didn't work, so he had to try the old-fashioned way.

"What's going on?" He attempted to ask gently, but the way that Will jumped made him think that he may not have been as successful as he had hoped for. After a pause, he responded.

"I'm not a coward." He said to the floor, and Nico rushed to reassure him with a pained heart.

"I know, Will, I know. I'm so sorry for everything I said. I didn't really mean what I said to you in the car either." As Nico spoke, he got the rare opportunity to see someone go from dejected to happy to confused in the space of just three sentences.

"What do you mean, 'either'?" Will questioned.

"Well, I mean, obviously you didn't really mean the whole moving in together thing, so I guess we're even?" Nico held his breath, hoping with all his might for mutual forgiveness.

Instead, all that he received was a heavy sigh and the return of the blank face. "So that's why you flipped out. When are you ever going to trust me, Nico? There's only so much I can give, and I've just about reached the limit."

"I don't follow." Nico furrowed his brow. "So you actually-"

"Look, I'm not interested in rehashing this conversation. It's done. Whatever." And though Nico could tell that this was not the truth, it was easy to ignore it and let it slip through the cracks, to allow Will to think he believed that there was nothing to worry about. Besides, Nico barely knew how to solve his own problems; how could he help Will when he didn't even want to admit that he needed help?

"So what are you doing here?" He asked, prodding the dying conversation forward.

"I can't stay at my mother's place tonight." Will answered, still not looking him in the eye. "But I don't have any way of getting home."

"You can stay here." Nico blurted, reading between the lines what Will was too proud to ask for at this point in time. "I can set up the sofa for you to sleep on." Will nodded.

"Thanks." Silence took hold again, and this time Nico couldn't deal with it.

"I'll just go grab some blankets then." He said, then rushed out.

Reaching the laundry cupboard, out of sight of Will, he slumped over against the wall, all the air rushing out of his lungs in a big sigh. That was awkward beyond words. A Will that wasn't talkative was so foreign to him that he didn't know what to do about it. Being the talkative one in any situation had never happened to him before and he had no idea how to solve this. So despite all the grand conclusions that he had come to while staring up at his bedroom ceiling, he was going to chicken out and attempt to get away with doing the bare minimum. Hopefully in the morning, when he had had enough sleep and Hazel would be there as a buffer, he would be able to sort this out. At least, that's what he tried to tell himself, even though he knew that he would be getting no sleep tonight, and there was no way that Hazel would be willing to do his work for him.

He returned to the living room - weighed down by pillows, blankets, and a heavy heart - to find Will pacing back and forth. Nico wanted to speak but his throat went dry. Not knowing what had gone wrong, only knowing how obviously unwillingly Will was to share it with him, he couldn't think of a single thing to say that would help. So he turned his back on him and set about laying out the bedding. Unfortunately, it was a simple job that was over quickly, so he soon had to turn back with nothing else to do. "Is there anything else you need?" Nico asked, having noticed that Will didn't bring anything with him. Again, he wanted to ask what had happened that meant he couldn't stay with his mother, but there was only one option that was starting to make sense and he was hurt by the fact that Will didn't want to share it with him. Oh well. Nico wasn't going to push him into anything that made him uncomfortable.

"I'm fine." Will answered shortly, then walked over to where Nico stood. He tried not to get his hopes up, an effort that was justified when Will didn't say anything further, instead just sat down on the couch, took his shoes off, then slid under the covers fully clothed. Recognising this as a very clear sign that Will was done with the conversation, Nico made his escape and tried not to be too cut. "Goodnight Will." He said, then made his way for his own room.

"Nico." He turned back, hoping desperately for any signal that Will wanted to talk, that this didn't have to end here, that he didn't have to go to bed confused and upset. "Thanks." Will whispered into the dark, so quietly that Nico had to wonder whether he had actually heard it, or just imagined it. Either way, he just nodded to himself and continued out.

Now he sat in his room, barely half an hour later, reliving that moment again and again, trying to pick apart what had happened and what he should have done and where he went wrong and what he should do in the morning. But mostly he was just trying to guess what was running through Will's mind, assuming he hadn't already fallen asleep. Was he reliving that conversation too?

Next thing he knew, the stillness and quiet was disturbed by his bedroom door bursting open. Nico scrambled to sit up and figure out what was going on, hoping against hope that it might be-

"Nico di Angelo!" Hazel hissed at him, the sounded seeming like a balloon deflating, mirroring Nico's feelings of disappointment that it wasn't who he had been expecting. "Why is there a man curled up on my couch?"

"What? How-" Nico scrambled for words too, all his thoughts muddled with tiredness.

"I headed down to the bathroom and out of the corner of my eye I see this lump of blankets on the couch!" Hazel told him, and he could hear a mix of anger and fear building in her voice. "And I was worried that it was you fallen asleep out there, so I went to check up on you, but it wasn't you! Please tell me you know something about why there is some random guy sleeping out there."

"It's okay," Nico told her, trying to placate her. "Don't worry. That's just Will."

It was almost comical to watch how the anger instantly was wiped off her face, only to be replaced with an almost child-like excitement. "Will's staying over? Will came over here? But why? Why is he asleep on the couch?"

"Are you insulating that he should be sleeping in here with me?" Nico said wryly. "I would expect that comment from Percy, but not from you." Hazel looked scandalised.

"No I didn't mean that at all! I didn't mean...you just met, and you're not together...I mean Frank and I aren't..." she blushed, her dark skin turning even darker. "I just meant, why is he here? Didn't you say he was staying at his mother's?"

"I don't know." Nico sighed. "I thought that's what the plan was. But he just showed up about half an hour ago, staying he needed somewhere to stay."

"And you didn't ask him?"

"He didn't tell! And I think he's mad at me. We kind of had an argument." Hazel gave him a long look.

'You mean to say, something went so wrong that he couldn't stay at his mother's and he had to come here even though he's too mad to you to talk about it, and you didn't bother to find out what it is? What did you even argue about? It must have been something serious."

"It wasn't, not really." Nico muttered, feeling smaller and smaller by the second. "It was just a misunderstanding, I guess-"

"You've got to be kidding me right now." After a second's pause, in which Nico showed no signs of amusement, Hazel gave another deep sigh and shook her head.

"Here's what you're going to do. You are going to go out there an apologise to him. I don't care what it was about, I don't think anything is really worth you being upset at each other. Then you are going to be a good friend and pay him back for all the support that he has given you over the past few weeks and listen to whatever it is that is on his mind. You are going to help him through this. And don't come scurrying back here until you've cleared this all up. Do you understand me?"

And Nico did understand. He knew that what she was saying was right. He probably knew that even before she told him, but there was something about hearing it from someone else that just solidified it in his brain. "But what if he's asleep right now?" He asked, putting up one last attempt at resistance. "I wouldn't want to wake him up."

"You're not asleep." She pointed out. "This conflict is keeping you up, and you don't even know the full story. Do you really think he could be resting peacefully right now?" Seeing the answer on his face, Hazel smiled sadly and headed for the door, her work done. "Goodnight, Nico. You'll thank me in the morning."

She left the door open behind her and without thinking he got up immediately to close it. Then, standing in front of the open doorway, he realised that that had probably been Hazel's intention to make sure that he didn't just put off the situation and go back to sleep. Shaking his head, he walked out of his bedroom, closing the door behind him instead. Trying to keep his footsteps light and gentle, he made him way to the living room, swallowing down his fear and nervousness.

As he walked in, Nico could hear the rustle of blankets from Will turning to face him but he didn't dare to made eye contact yet. Instead he just sat down on the ground in front of the couch and stared at his hands where they rested in his lap, feeling Will's gaze on him the whole time. "I'm sorry." He said. "Really. For all the stupid arguments we've had today. I've been a bad friend and ignoring all the crap that you're going through, when you've put up with enough of my bullshit for a lifetime. I don't deserve to have you as a friend." His voice stumbled a bit on that last word but without even having to look, Nico knew that Will was probably about to cut him off at that, so he hurried on. "But I'm glad I do. I don't say that enough, and I'm sorry. I want to support you, I want to be here for you. So...what's going on, Will?" He asked, looking up at him at last.

Tears were swimming in Will's gorgeous blue eyes, and Nico wasn't sure what to do. Was Will crying because of him? Was he still upset at him? Or was it emotion from whatever had driven him here that was finally being shown outwardly? Nico reached out a shaking hard towards Will, not sure what his goal was, but knowing that he had made the right action when Will drew one of his own hands out from under the blanket to wrap around Nico's, pulling it towards himself.

"I'm not mad at you anymore." Will whispered, and Nico let out a sigh of relief that made his whole body tremble. 'But now I know it'll cause you to show how much you really care about me, I might have to pretend to be angry at you sometimes."

"Don't even joke about it." Nico replied immediately, having finally decided to let go of any pretence that he didn't care about Will as deeply as he did. It just wasn't worth it. He would much rather be subject to more moments like this, with Will holding his hand and gracing him with a soft smile in the dim lighting that enveloped them, all their emotions painted out on their faces, and a fluttering in his stomach that was cosy and warm, rather than the unease he was used to. A window into a world where the two of them were together and happy, without having to worry about hiding their feelings from each other or the rest of the world. And in this moment, he realised that maybe this world was not as unattainable as he had previously thought. Maybe it was only just barely out of his grasp. He wasn't entirely sure, but he was certain of the fact that it would definitely be worth fighting for.

"Nico? You there?" Will smirked, giving his hand a gentle squeeze and bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah. Of course. I'm always here." Nico followed his true-but-cheesy statement with an overly-exaggerated sappy look that made Will snort with laughter.

"You dork. This has gone too far. Do I even know you? Who are you, again?"

"I'm the guy that's letting you sleep on my couch and to whom you haven't yet explained why." Unsurprisingly, this last addition to the conversation brought a sobering air over what had just been some playful banter, but they both knew it had to happen.

"Well, technically it's your sister's couch, so..." It seemed as though some where more willing to hold on to the banter than others.

"That's right. My sister being the one who walked through a few minutes ago and saw you and is now also wondering what you are doing here." Will laughed again, but this time it sounded somewhat nervous.

"And then, what, did she force you to come here and interrogate me? Is that why you're bothering to ask me now? Why am I not surprised."

Had Nico been anyone else, he probably would have taken offense at that. He probably would have interpreted that as rude, insulting, an attack against him. But Nico recognised it for what it was: insecurity. A last ditch attempt at protecting one's feelings and making sure that the other person was worthy of confiding in. Hiding vulnerabilities with bitterness. Stalling. Trying to tell oneself that dealing with the problem alone was easier and neater than bringing other people into it. Because this was a strategy that Nico himself had used time and time again. It had been his way of life for years and had become the norm. And he had used this against Will so many times, and yet Will had persisted and continued to have faith in the fact that Nico was a good person at heart. The least Nico could do right now would be to pay him back for that.

"Have you already forgotten that sappy speech I made?" Nico prodded gently, then physically prodded Will's cheeks with a finger of the hand that Will was holding until he provoked a grudging smile out of him. "I genuinely want to know. I want to help you. I promise."

Will sighed, and Nico knew that he had won him over. "I did tell her. I told my mum I'm gay."' And Nico wanted to sigh at himself, because that was the obvious conclusion. Wasn't that what Will had told him that he was going to do today? Nico had kind of assumed that what had gone down between then might have caused Will to put that off for a bit longer, but of course – being the most stubbornly optimistic person he had ever met – Will had gone ahead with it anyway. "How'd she take it?"

"She wasn't angry. She wasn't upset." To anyone else, those words may have been cause for hope or even celebration, but Nico was the most stubbornly pessimistic person he had ever met, and sitting there in front of a clearly dejected Will who was not safe and happy in his mother's arms, he knew that there was more behind this seemingly joyous news.

"But?" He questioned, holding his own breath in anticipation. Will closed his eyes, and he knew that he did it to keep tears from spilling over.

"She doesn't get it. She thinks it's just a phase, something stupid I've gotten into from living in the big city on my own. She told me not to worry about it and that she still loves me, not because it doesn't matter to her, but because she thinks that one day soon I'll wake up and realise that I've been straight all along. And I don't know..." Will drew a deep shuddering breath before racing on. "I don't know how I'm supposed to move on from here. Because all she's ever going to expect me to do is change back to whoever she expects me to be but that isn't going to happen. And I don't know how long it is going to take for her to see and believe the truth. How long do I have to live like this, just trying to be myself and be happy but constantly feeling like I have to prove myself? I just want to feel safe and I thought I was finally there, but I wasn't Nico. I really wasn't." Will's shoulders began to shake and Nico knew without having to be asked that this was a time to hold him. Unthinkingly, he reached out and wrapped his arms around Will, awkwardly learning over the front of the couch as Will slumped over his shoulder and began to sob.

"I wasn't okay. I acted like it, and I know you thought it, but this was always in the back of my head. What kind of life can I have without my family? I've been living without them because I always thought I would get them back, that I would come out to them and it would be okay eventually, because they love me, but what if it isn't? What if it doesn't get better from here? Do I just not have a family anymore? Oh god. Nico, what if she's told my brothers? I don't know if she would. She might be making an example of me, and try and make sure the others turn out normal. Or maybe she will just want to sweep the whole thing under the rug and not admit it and just hope that it goes away. Probably that. Oh god Nico, I don't want to lose my family. I don't want to be alone."

Nico had never known what it was to be someone's only support system, but this was the situation in which he found himself right now. It was somewhat overwhelming and he felt guilty for anyone that he had ever forced into this situation. But it was a burden that he was more than okay to bear, a weight that he was more than fit to carry, because it was Will. He would do anything for him. So he rubbed his back, stroked his hair, wiped the tears of his face, and whispered calming words into his ears, doing all that he could to make him feel better.

"You're going to be okay." He told him. "Whatever happens. Whether they get past this or not, you're going to be fine. Because you're Will Solace. You're the strongest person that I know. The most resilient, loving, persistent and stubborn idiot that I am so blessed to know. And you'll never be alone. I won't let that happen."

"You're going to be okay." He told him. "Whatever happens. Whether they get past this or not, you're going to be fine. Because you're Will Solace. You're the strongest person that I know. Alright? You are the most resilient, loving, persistent and stubborn idiot, and I am so luckily to know you. You'll never be alone. I won't let that happen."

None of these words he was planning to say. It just happened. And all the words were true, he realised as he was saying them. But even more surprising were the words that followed. "You won't even have to live alone anymore. If you'll still have me, that is. I'd gladly move in with you." All of a sudden it was like the sun had come out from behind a dark storm cloud, shining on Will's face. And even though Nico could already feel the storm cloud of commitment looming on the horizon, he couldn't regret doing it.

"Are you serious?" Will asked, and all Nico could do was grin back at him, somewhat stunned, and completely unable to reply with one of his usual sarcastic quips.

"More serious than I've ever been in my life." Nico said, feeling excitement growing in him. It was the perfect solution, after all. He wouldn't have to live with his father, he could live close to uni, and most importantly he would get to live with Will. And who could tell where that might lead? For once he wasn't scared. All he felt was anticipation.

An anticipation that Will clearly shared with him, if the conversation that followed was any indication. Because after the brief moment of silent contemplation, the words and hopes and dreams came pouring out, tumbling over each other in their haste to be spoken. How they could share Nico's car and Will would no longer have to be at the mercy of public transport, and Will would be able to introduce Nico to his favourite anime (a fact that Nico spent a good 5 minutes relentlessly teasing him for even though they both knew that he was looking forward to it) and they could have an ongoing Mythomagic tournament, and create the perfect haven. Will would be able to keep Nico from keeping to himself to much and retreating from the world. Nico would make sure that Will wouldn't get carried away by his dreams.

But Nico was starting to realise that maybe that wouldn't be such a bad fate. All this planning and hoping was something that he had never allowed himself to do. He had never dared to let himself expect his life to get too much better, instead convinced that all hope would turn out to be futile. And yet here he was, planning a bright future in the outside world while tucked up in the dim and enclose space of Hazel's living room, and it felt warm, and comforting, and safe.

With their hands and hearts pressed together, sharing breaths and hopes and plans, Nico could feel theirs paths merging into one. Never before had he he ever connected with someone like this. But even the greatest conversations have to make way for tiredness, and Nico felt himself drifting away right where he sat. Even as Will was still talking, his eyes closed, and his consciousness started to fade. Somewhere in the blackness he thought he might have felt a soft, warm pressure on the knuckles of the hand that Will was still holding, but then sleep completely enveloped him, and he could think no more.


End file.
